We Will Always Be Monsters
by Austadophilus
Summary: Pearl is an ex-convict that just wants to live a normal life free of crime. Jasper is a brutish gangbanger that just wants revenge. When the two reunite from their overlapped past, Jasper realizes Pearl could be her greatest weapon. NSFW, Gangbanger AU, drugs and alcohol usage. JasPearl, Lapidot, Past-Jaspis.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is a story put together by both myself and my good friend, smilobots on tumblr and tuskedlioness on ao3, so please show her some love too as this started as a roleplay between the two of us.**

 **Chapter One**

"What the hell did you do? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"

Jasper was on the floor, stained with blood and cradling the limp body of her crime boss. Standing above her trembled none other than her sister, Rose.

"Jasper…please understand…I…I had to!"

It was thirteen years since it happened.

 _Exactly_ thirteen years. Pink Diamond was long gone. The Pink Gang fell along after her within the same year as her passing, and Jasper now adorned the Yellow Diamond symbols on her clothes. Today though, she decided not to wear anything yellow, or any gang color at all. All she wore was black.

It wasn't always she got the opportunity to leave gang territory. Jasper lingered at the graveyard of the strange city outskirts.

"Don't worry, Pink Diamond," Jasper grumbled as she set some flowers onto a grave. "One day I'll avenge you."

Pearl sighed at the crumpled up piece of paper.

"Alright. You can do this. Just throw it away like we practiced." She motioned her hand above the trashcan to drop it in, but stopped. She reopened the paper, looking at the damaged invitation for the billionth time that day.

A Little Rose Bud is On the Way

Join us for a Baby Shower Honoring

Rose Quartz

October 4th 11:00 AM

She cringed and crumpled it again, and threw it back in her purse. _Why do I like to torture myself? She's moving on with her life._ _She's got a baby now for star's sake!_

"Hey, convict. Break's over, you're up."

Pearl rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in exasperation. "Oh please, could you stop calling me that? Just because I got out of jail three years ago doesn't mean I like to be called a convict!" _You deserve to be terrified of me anyway,_ she was so dying to add. But as an ex-convict…bad choices of words were bad choices of words.

The waitress put a stick of gum in her mouth. "Whatever. There's a customer waiting for you. Better not make them wait." She popped it obnoxiously.

Pearl sighed and smoothed out her apron and peach-colored hair. She plastered on her best happy-to-please-you face and walked into the diner area. As upset as she was about that invitation, she was at work and it was best to keep her emotions off her sleeves for now.

Strange...this new customer looked familiar. "Good evening," she mentioned as the customer peered over her menu. "What can I do for you?"

"Yeah, I never ate the over here before, so what kinda-" The customer looked up, and all her words braked to a stop. Blood seemed to drain from her face for a second, before she narrowed her eyes. "Hey…I know you. What are _you_ doing here?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You remember me, Pearl? Cause I remember _you_." Each word was coated in an icy venom, as if she was trying to kill Pearl with the words themselves.

"I…" Pearl had no idea what to say. Yes, she knew this woman all too well, but it was so long ago. That face of hers was unforgettable. Those sharp, piercing eyes. That thick, wild mane. Those pale stripes made of scars and vitiligo... Pearl knew this woman very well, but it had been so long since she had laid eyes on the problem-child-turned-gangbanger before her.

Pearl mulled over her words. "Hello…Jasper," she said carefully. She also decided to keep her tone cold; unwelcoming.

"Wow. Fucking wow. Took you that fucking long."

"Well sorry I haven't seen you in a long time!" Pearl said. She adjusted her notebook. "Now can I order you something?"

Jasper chuckled darkly. "So you work here," she purred. "I came here to eat, but…now I know for sure this place is shit." She loudly scraped the chair back as she stood up, now towering over much shorter, svelte woman.

"Y-yes I work here! What's it to you?!"

"Heh." Jasper shoved past her and stomped to the door. She paused dramatically at the entrance, slowly turning back as her fists were clenched and the sleeves of her suit were stretched tight over her biceps. "I hope you know what day it is," she growled. "Don't you go acting so brave, Pearl. It would be a shame for Rose."

A pit formed in Pearl's stomach.

"What do…I have to do with Rose?" she couldn't help but ask, voice embarrassingly cracking just a little. But Jasper had already slammed the door, shuddering the diner into silence.

Her coworker rushed out from the kitchen. "What was that all about?!"

Pearl shook her head. "Just another rude customer complaining about the menus," she said coldly. "Nothing new."

Jasper had been home for a while now, drooped on the couch while being subjected to her roommate's rants on whatever dweeby bullshit was going on.

"Peridot-" Jasper interrupted. "I finally know how to get my revenge on Rose Quartz."

Peridot groaned from her computer, a typical response. "And here you are, onto this pointless matter for the upteenth time," she moaned. "We have more important circumstances to be concerned about! You know, like rival gangs, not some clod who got out of jail a couple years ago!"

"You wouldn't understand," Jasper growled. "You weren't even a gang member when it happened! You never knew her. You never-"

"I'm sorry," Peridot said, voice slightly softer. "I understand it's the anniversary, but face the facts. It's been how many years? Thirteen? Still focusing on revenge is clearly not helpi-"

Jasper rolled her eyes and got up, throwing a jacket over her shoulder and grabbing her weapons. "Tell Yellow Diamond I won't be available tonight. I got a more important task."

"YOU CAN'T JUST-"

She slammed the door behind her before Peridot could argue about it. The last thing Jasper heard was some mumble about being too spoiled or something.

Time to go to that restaurant before it closes.

Jasper drove down the block, ready to park nearby the restaurant, until she discovered a recognizable figure walking under the streetlights. "Pearl," she snarled quietly.

Pearl placed her purse and keys on the counter and sighed, pushing a clump of her hair back. She cracked open some windows in her apartment to air it out, and then went back to the kitchen.

She paused to glance at the pink Congrats letter on the fridge. _If we survived prison, we can survive anything! I love you!_ it wrote in Rose's cute swirly handwriting, with a heart and a smiley face drawn at the bottom. She frowned, then dipped into her cabinet and pulled out two bottles of wine.

Someone could pop in at any moment to check on whether or not she was back to drinking again, but Pearl didn't care. It was her life, dammit, and if she was on the path to being a high-functioning alcoholic, then so be it. She could make it work.

She popped off one of the bottles and then sank into her couch to reminisce on her day. Funny enough, she hadn't thought too much about the strange encounter with that gangbanger. Yellow Diamond's goons were always trolling the shops and parks and diners, but it was odd for this area of the city. Most gang activity was.

Still, Pearl frowned as she thought about Jasper and her vague threats. Hardly anyone ever sees her outside Yellow territory after Pink Diamond's passing...shit! Pink Diamond's passing...that was...

Pearl swallowed a hard bit of wine, remembering the date of Pink Diamond's demise. She guzzled the rest of the bottle rather fast and moved onto the next one until she felt the buzz in her cheeks.

"Jasper..." she whispered to herself. No wonder Jasper was so defensive today. So strange to see Rose's sister…she even sort of looked like Rose...in a wild sort of way...

"Mhnnn...Jasper…" Pearl's cheeks got red. Why did the bigger girls always drive her a bit wild?

 _Hold on. What am I even doing?_ Pearl stopped herself. Perhaps the alcohol was getting to her, but…she was starting to feel a bit _hot_ thinking about Jasper. Probably because of how…how Jasper looked like a wilder, feral version of Rose…an untamable, rugged, amazon beast version of- _Oh, cut it out! You really need to move on!_ she rebuked herself, taking another sip.

Brain not listening, her thoughts flashed back to the image of Jasper's biceps rippling through those sleeves, as though the fabric would tear at any moment. Those large, supple breasts filling up the top of that suit till the fabric was tight. That wild, voluminous hair that spilled over a face of those stripes. Just the memory of Jasper towering over her was enough to make Pearl's blood pump harder.

Pearl hummed to herself, setting the drink aside and laying across the couch. "Jasper," she breathed. "Touch me, Jasper..." On lonely nights like this, it didn't hurt to fantasize a little bit, would it? If she couldn't have Rose, at least she had her fingers and her imagination, even if it only satisfied her for a few moments.

Her pants unzipped a few notches and slipped down her legs. She took a few seconds to fold them then neatly discarded them on top the coffee table. All that was left as a barrier was a pair of lacy panties, to which Pearl massaged the fabric, moaning at the sensation. "Jasper...I want you to...take me, Jasper...just take me... That's it…just use your tongue, Jasper…." She slipped a few fingers under the fabric and thrusted into herself, pretending it was Jasper.

"That's it, you dirty thing…take your fill." She imagined Jasper below her, imagined tangling her fingers through that wild bleached hair, encouraging the gangbanger's mouth to taste her sopping slit. "Yes, yes, so close! Keep going, you filthy girl! Ah!" she cried, arching her back as she released, letting the rush of endorphins blow her worries away. She oozed back into the couch, breathing heavily.

She was just about to fall asleep, until she saw a figure looming ahead. "Wh…what?"

Sneaking into the house was a breeze. The window was cracked, and the lights were barely on. Pearl seemed to be in the kitchen.

Jasper had to resist snorting at the discovery that Pearl was a drinker. If this was thirteen years ago, Jasper would refuse to believe it. _At least she'll be easier to catch if she gets drunk. Lucky me._ Jasper crept up behind couch, trying her best to ignore the enticing wafts of alcohol.

She shifted to her knees. Just as she was about to rise and attack, a weird sound emerged from the couch. Jasper stopped. Was that…whimpering?

Was Pearl crying or some shit? Jasper wondered what she would cry about. Or maybe she was… Jasper's face got hot. It didn't take long to realize it. _Oh Lord, what the fuck?!_

"Jasper…." Jasper's heart jolted. Did Pearl know Jasper was here?! She listened and noticed more moaning, and the rustling of clothes. Was Pearl…was Pearl _masturbating to her?!_ What in the fucking hell?! Seems Rose wasn't the only one that desperate lesbian wanted.

She listened, gawking, and flushed completely when the rustle of pants slid down her legs. Moans grew louder…there was a subtle wet sound. _Sh…shit._

She had to cover her mouth, face as hot as fire, when Pearl audibly entered her climax, gasping faster and moaning very filthy things about Jasper, before shuddering and finally growing quiet.

 _Sh-shit. That filthy slut. She came because of me._

Morbid curiosity held Jasper back from her original plan. Not after…this shit! Jasper's face was hotter than the burning sun. But maybe this was a good thing. Maybe she wouldn't have to attack Pearl after all.

She stood up gently, wondering if this was a good idea. Her heart pounded, but fuck it, how could Pearl defeat Jasper, one of Yellow's most dangerous guards?

"Hey, Pearl," Jasper cooed, stepping carefully into the drunk woman's sight. "Shhhhhhh, this is just a dream…"

"Just…a dream…"

Even in her blissful daze, it was still so hard to believe Jasper was right in front of her.

Pearl clumsily stood up, expecting Jasper to fade away. But Jasper remained there. She tried to step forward, but stumbled against the coffee table.

"Careful now," Jasper purred with a chuckle. She reached forward. "Want me to help you?"

Pearl reached forward and intertwined her fingers with Jasper's. Jasper helped her up and pulled her close. Pearl leaned against her, pressing her head against that cleavage and fondling the bulk of those strong arms.

"Oh…wow," Jasper said, slightly awkward. "You're really into me, huh?"

"Mmmhm." It had been so long since she had been held in somebody's arms. And to think it was with Jasper of all people.

…Wait a minute. Something was weird here. A dream would not be this realistic or vivid. This was not a dream…this Jasper was real! Even in her drunk stupor, she snapped out of it enough to know Jasper was here…Jasper was really here!

 _Ugh…What is she doing here…?_

 _Wait…why is Jasper is here?!_

 _What is happening?!_

She trembled under Jasper's touch, concern overflowing her body. She was too paralyzed and tipsy to properly react.

 _That snake! How much did she see?!_

Jasper continued to hold Pearl as if Pearl was an idiot. "That's it, Pearl…just a dream," she murmured. "Now why don't we go to my car? We can drive somewhere real nice."

 _Car?!_ Pearl's heart pounded and raced in sheer terror now _. Oh God, oh God!_

Jasper prompted her gently. "C'mon, Pearl. Let's get going. I'll help you." When Pearl didn't budge, Jasper's voice rose in irritation. "C'mon, Pearl," she snarled.

Pearl felt Jasper's hand shuffle into the jacket pocket that was pressed against Pearl's abdomen. Something in that pocket felt weirdly suspicious. Pearl didn't know why, but it definitely wasn't something ordinary like a phone or a pack of gum.

 _Oh God! Now calm down, Pearl, think of something!_

 _Fool thinking she's such a sly fox, is she?_

 _Two can play at this game!_

"Mmm…Jasper…" Pearl mewled, reaching up to unzip Jasper's jacket. Just as she expected, Jasper's hand defensively left the pocket. If only Pearl could get that jacket to come off.

"Woah! What are you doing!?" Jasper said, trying to pull Pearl's hands away. But it had already been unzipped.

"Fuck me, Jasper," Pearl pleaded.

"What?! Hell no, you're drunk!"

"But Jasper," Pearl drawled with a pout. "Isn't this just a dream?"

Pearl slid her hands around Jasper's shoulders and pulled the jacket down over her muscles. Beautiful stripes of vitiligo decorated those toned arms.

Jasper's cheeks darkened and her face stripes became beet red. "Well…yeah, but-"

"Then let me see that beautiful body of yours…" She gazed into Jasper's eyes with her own wide, tearful ones. "Please, Jasper…let me see your body…I want to worship you." Her feeble hand slid up Jasper's shirt and ran up her abs and below her breasts. _If I can just get that jacket off or even stall her long enough._

"Jasper…" she hummed, cupping the savage's breast beneath the tank top as she planted a kiss on her neck. "Mmmmm…Jasper…" She grinned against the shiver Jasper got, and continued to pepper the woman with hungry kisses, going down her collarbone.

Jasper moaned against the touch. "Ughh, fuck," she huffed. To Pearl's delight, the jacket slipped off of her. Finally giving in, Jasper eagerly pulled the tank top off and unclipped her own bra, releasing those beautiful breasts for Pearl to see.

"There we are," Pearl said in awe as she ran her thumbs over the nipples. Pearl dipped down and latched onto one with her mouth like a greedy child.

"Mmm- Aah!" Jasper grunted rather loudly. Pearl held back a laugh. "Nnnng, Pearl! Ffuck!"

She let go and started to kiss down her stomach. Her hand went down to cup Jasper's crotch, then moved up and back down inside her pants. _Wow…so wet already…_ she thought with a sigh, feeling the moisture on Jasper's panties.

"Nnng, Pearl, don't stop…" Jasper whined. "K-keep worshipping me…"

Pearl chuckled, and slipped her hand through Jasper's panties. "Wow..." she moaned breathlessly as she pulled away, sleek shining off her fingertips. "You're so wet...I can feel it... You want real worship, Jasper?" Jasper nodded with a shuddery breath, and Pearl chuckled again, slipping her fingers back in. She rubbed the hot, wet slit until she found the clit, and massaged it, creating louder moans of pleasure from Jasper. "There we are," she cooed.

"Mmmm… Oh, Pearl," Jasper mewled huskily.

 _She's so loud,_ Pearl thought in admiration. Who knew such a savage beast could be so at mercy to her touch?

 _But I can do much more than that._ "Take them off, Jasper. I want to really worship your beautiful pussy...oh please, let me eat you out." Pearl gave her lips a sultry, little lick. "Go on…take them off."

Jasper nodded, and Pearl removed the savage's pants and panties. At last, all her clothes were successfully off, but the fun wasn't over yet. Jasper leaned against the couch, spreading her legs. "Go ahead then. Let me give you what you want," Jasper purred in delight.

Pearl's smile widened as soon as that beautiful, soaked slit was in view. She bent over with her own ass in the air and crawled seductively towards Jasper, placing her hands on each of Jasper's toned thighs.

"You're not going to forget this, Jasper," Pearl sang. Delivering a kiss to Jasper's clit, she then proceeded with soft licks to her folds, until she decided to take Jasper's swollen nub between her lips. "Mhnnn..."

Jasper gasped loudly. She ran her fingers into Pearl's hair enthusiastically, panting. "Oh yes, oh yes- aaah!" As Pearl suckled, she knew Jasper was absolutely overflowing with bliss now. Jasper moaned and purred, completely succumbing to Pearl.

"Th-that's it," Jasper gasped. "Eat me. Worship me. I'm all yours right now."

Pearl smirked into Jasper's pussy, continuing to eat her out with renewed vigor each time the striped goddess roared in ecstasy. Quietly, she slipped two fingers inside of her, pumping Jasper for all she was worth.

"You can come..." Pearl encouraged. "Fuck. Come as hard as you can. I want to really hear you!"

"AaaAAH!" Jasper threw her head back as Pearl's fingers curled upwards into her, continuously stroking Jasper's upper wall. "O-oh fuck, I want this, I really want this, f-FUCK!" She cried louder, panting even faster as she entered her climax. "I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come-" As she released, she spilled fluids all over the other woman's hand. "F-fuck!"

Excitedly, Pearl brought her two fingers to her lips to lick and suck the delightful essence Jasper just offered her. This was incredible...but still...

This was reality. And Jasper was still here.

Pearl stood up and stumbled over to her kitchen, pulling out a knife from a series of cooking knives on the counter. "That was fun. But you're not here for good intentions, are you, Jasper?"

Her blue eyes flashed back to the hot mess on her couch. "Now what do you want with me, Jasper?!"

Jasper slumped over in a daze. _Who knew a drunk piece of shit could be such a good lay,_ she thought, starry eyed- until Pearl did the unthinkable. "W-what?!" she choked, snapping out of her bliss.

Jasper's mind spun. This bitch was thirsty for her, wasn't she? This couldn't have been a trick, could it? Fuck!

"Why are you here, Jasper?!" Pearl demanded, holding the knife.

"Aww, c'mon, now don't be like that," Jasper said. "Now why don't you have a few more drinks? You don't want this dream to turn into a nightmare, do you?" she added in a menacing growl.

"Next time, don't let yourself get fucked by your prey," Pearl lectured. "I want to know what's you're up to! You broke into my home. You watched me! And you tried to take advantage...so what do you intend to do to me?!"

"So you know you aren't dreaming..." Jasper stood up. She realized her weapons were in the pockets of her clothes, which were on the floor. This was the stupidest move. She had to think fast...not let these tables turn any further.

"Now you wouldn't hurt Rose's precious little sister, would you?" She used her foot to push her clothes closer to her.

"Rose...what makes you think I st...still care for Rose?!" The knife loosened from Pearl's grip. "Get out of my house, Jasper!"

"Hm." Jasper pursed her lips. "What? You saying you're not some loyal pup to her anymore?"

"Loyal pup?!" Pearl cried out, distress covering her face. "Is that what people think about me?! That I'm just some lovesick puppy stalking Rose everywhere?!" The knife nearly slipped from her hands. "I...I thought it meant something…I thought all those years meant something to her…I thought I was the one she was going to spend her life with!"

Jasper swept the jacket into her reach and swiped out a syringe from the pocket and quickly uncapped it, then rushed to smack the knife out of Pearl's hand. She slammed Pearl against the wall, pinning the inebriated woman, and held the destabilizer serum against her neck.

"What is that?!" Pearl cried. "G-get that away from me! Jasper!"

"Face it, Pearl," Jasper said. "You're not sober enough to fight! Even if you were, you will never win against _me._ " Ending the battle, Jasper injected the fluids into Pearl, knowing she will be out in seconds.

"And by the way, Pearl, I don't know how much bluff your little speech was, but I don't got time for interrogations right now. I'm going to avenge Pink Diamond, and I know you can _help._ "

"Help…? Help…avenge…your boss? But…how can I…?" Like a machine powering down, Pearl collapsed in Jasper's arms.

And just like that, the hard part was over. Jasper sighed, studying the unconscious woman.

 _Sorry about this, Pearl_ , Jasper thought. For just a second, all she could see in Pearl was the teenage girl Jasper knew as a small child. But this had to be done. She had to get revenge on Rose.

After changing back into clothes, she hoisted Pearl over her shoulder, and gathered up some stuff and some of Pearl's belongings. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Just wanted to mention that we do update this story every Friday. 3 Please enjoy.**

 **Chapter 2**

"Mhmmm..." Soft beams of light filtered through the window onto Pearl's face until she opened her eyes. It took a few tries to get her vision from blurry to focused. Her head was pounding, and she felt sick. "Ugh...must've blacked out again. Good thing it's the weekend." She didn't even want to think about attending class with a hangover like this, though.

"Ahhh..." She sat up in bed and stretched, only to pause in horror once the covers fell from her body. She was completely nude, and those covers did not belong to her. "What the hell?!" Pearl felt her entire body to make sure it was true and when she tried, she found that her right arm was chained to the four-post bed she was sleeping on.

"This...this is not my bed!" Pearl gasped, trying to tug her arm free, but to no avail. "Oh my God...what happened to me?! Where am I?!" she cried out. All of the memories of Jasper were flooding back.

 _Jasper...she kidnapped me! Oh my God...oh my God..._ Across from her on a dresser was her purse. She reached out as far as she could to grab it, but it was strategically placed to be too far away.

"Jasper!" Pearl shrieked, her face draining from color. "Jasper, where are you?! Show yourself right now! JASPER!"

"Jasper!" At first Pearl thought it was herself, but realized someone else was shouting too. "Take care of your captive! I can hear her with my headphones on!"

A very familiar, husky voice moaned not too far from Pearl's room. Pearl rolled her eyes at the dramatic response as a defiant creak of a bed was heard, followed along by very heavy trudges. "Why does the drunk chick gotta wake up this early…"

"JASPER, YOU BRUTE!" Pearl spat. "YOU GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT OR I SWEAR, I'LL-"

Pearl cut herself off as soon as the door opened with Jasper in her tank top and booty shorts. The thin fabric made it very obvious Jasper wasn't wearing a bra, and the shirt cheesily read _SUNS OUT GUNS OUT_ in bright bold letters. Stripes of vitiligo curved into the details of her large thighs. Nice sight and all, but Pearl was pissed off.

"Hey, can't you pipe down for another hour?" Jasper groaned, rubbing her eyes.

Pearl could not roll her eyes far enough. Her restrained fist clenched as though she would break free at any moment to sock Jasper in the face. "You kidnapped me," Pearl seethed. "You actually kidnapped me! I'm not going to assist in your beauty sleep!"

"No shit," Jasper grumbled bitterly. She rubbed a hand down her face. "Anyway, guess I'll make breakfast now. What do you want? Bacon and eggs or...PERIDOT, WHAT KIND OF CEREAL DO WE HAVE?!"

"LUCKY CHARMS."

"Or do you want Lucky Charms?"

Pearl blinked. Well...she certainly wasn't expecting that kind of response. Using her free left hand, she rubbed a temple and scoffed in complete disbelief. "Of course. You belong to Yellow Diamond. This all seems like second nature to you by now, doesn't it? Kidnapping me..."

"Can we talk about this later?" Jasper said. "Are you gonna answer my question or what?"

"Jasper…" Pearl paused. She huffed bitterly. "Fine. Just an egg. Scrambled, please." Jasper left the room, and Pearl went back to tugging at the cuff on her wrist. _If there's just a way to get out…_

Jasper prepared eggs for Pearl and herself. She could already tell it will be a long day ahead of them. Interrogating Pearl may not be so easy, if she was as stubborn as Jasper remembered.

 _I wonder what Rose is up to..._ Rose's existence practically disappeared after she left prison, with no trace left of her whereabouts. Who knew her childhood best friend slash sweetheart worked in the city? Could that mean Rose is somewhere in the city too? Jasper practically drooled at the thought.

Jasper completed the eggs, and scraped them onto two plates. She even playfully scooped them into a Diamond shape, to welcome her new recruit.

"Here you go." Jasper handed a plate of the Diamond eggs to Pearl. "Hope it's okay. Peridot says I make them too crumbly. But if you eat them, I'll let you change into your clothes."

Jasper sat down across from her, crossing her legs on the floor. "Heh...this is like the good ole days," Jasper rambled, taking a bite. "Remember when you slept over when we were kids, and I decided to make pancakes for everyone? Except the pancakes were all pitch black on the outside and raw on the inside? My mom blamed Rose." She snorted a laugh.

Glowering at Jasper, Pearl set her own plate of eggs aside. She scrunched her nose. "Can we talk about my…you know…situation?"

Jasper huffed. Dammit. "Fine then. I kidnapped you for a reason."

"Obviously I know that!"

"No I mean…you're my bait, Pearl. Pretty fucking obvious." She took a bite. "If I can't find Rose, then she'll just have to come running to me." She grinned.

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Rose…" She sighed. "Jasper, do you even know how to contact her?"

"That's why I got your phone." She picked something up and waved it around. It very much was Pearl's phone.

"My phone?!" she spat in disgust. If Pearl could cross her arms, then she would. "What else are you planning to do with me?!"

Jasper scraped the last of her eggs off her plate and into her mouth. "Good question."

"Please don't talk with your mouth full."

"I want you to join my gang after. I know, I know, why would you want to join my gang after I viciously kill your lesbian gal pal? Well, you will personally get to bask in the glory and riches of this gang, just at a price. We need more gang members, we're nothing against the White Gang, and I know you're a veteran at this." She gazed at Pearl while saying it, in loving malice, as if Pearl was the nuke to all of Jasper's problems.

"Haven't you ever thought about asking instead of kidnapping me?! There is absolutely no way I will want to join your gang now!"

"Really, Pearl? Do you really think you'd comply if I asked?"

"JASPER, NONE OF THIS IS RIGHT!" Pearl shouted. "This is…this is sick! All of this, all the stuff your gang does, _this lifestyle is sick!_ I'm trying to get away from crime, Jasper! I just got out of prison and am trying to live normally for the first time in my damn life!" she spat, voice breaking.

Jasper narrowed her eyes. "So…you'd rather work as a shitty waitress and suck on the rest of the world's dick instead of having the world bend at your feet?"

"This is exactly why I left my own gang! And Jasper, none of this is going to work! I'm not as agile as I used to be, I'm not even thirty yet but prison already wore me down so much, and people are going to look for me, Jasper!"

"Oh, heh, I know people will. You think I'm stupid?" Jasper scoffed. "But no worries...I always find my way around it. Lucky you though, you should be glad you're not with Lapis. She does most of the kidnapping; pretty good at water torture too. Learned some tricks from her if I ever need to use them."

Pearl stared at her apathetically, not phased in the slightest at Jasper's attempt at a threat. "I know who Lapis is," she drawled boredly.

"And I know her personally," Jasper seethed. "I know how to ruin you, Pearl! _I learned from her_."

Pearl breathed a long sigh, running slender fingers through her short hair. "What do you even want to do with me, Jasper? Really? What can I even do to solve your problems?"

"Tell me where Rose is."

"Absolutely not."

"You will tell me, Pearl! I need to know where Rose is. She murdered Pink Diamond!"

Pearl shook her head. "Look, I...I moved on from Rose. I don't want to talk about it, especially not with you."

Jasper stormed to her feet. "Pearl! I need to know! That was my mom! SHE KILLED MY MOM!"

"Jasper…I'm serious."

"PEARL!" Jasper slammed the side of her fist against the wall. Pearl didn't flinch. She remained silent, and boy was Jasper having a fit. "I NEED TO KNOW! NOW! SHE KILLED MY MOM, PEARL, SHE KILLED MY MOM!"

Pearl turned her head away. "PEARL!" Jasper shrieked, hitting the wall above her again and again, trying to get that stubborn bitch's attention. "PEARL! TELL ME!"

"Jasper. Stop."

"I'll just have to fucking force it out of you!"

"Go ahead…"

"You're pathetic!"

"See if I care."

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T!"

"Then do it," Pearl challenged.

Jasper paused. "Really?"

"Just kill me then! Kill me, Jasper! KILL ME RIGHT NOW!"

"You really want to die than tell me?! WHERE IS ROSE?!"

"Rose is..." Pearl's breath hitched as though there was no air on earth left to breathe. "R-Rose is..." She gripped her own head and shook furiously. "Rose is- no! I DON'T KNOW!" she wailed, her chest heaving. "I don't know, okay?! Just kill me!"

"You don't know _what?!_ " Jasper spat. "Where she is? What a bunch of bullshit!"

"I just don't know why she would leave me!"

"She left you?" Jasper kneeled down and grasped Pearl's shoulders. "Where? Where did she go?! Tell me, Pearl!"

Pearl pulled away and fiercely shook her head, rocking back and forth in her spot. "N-no…" she sobbed.

"Pearl! C'mon!"

Pearl kept her head buried into her knees, and kept sobbing. Slowly, she quieted down. She sniffled, and wiped her face. "Fine then," she said, her voice disturbingly steady now and her eyes glazed over. She slowly raised her head to look at the gangbanger. "Go in my phone. The password is 'crystal'."

Jasper cocked a brow at the weird yet generic password, but did as she was told.

"Go ahead. Play the first few voicemails. You'll want to play the voicemail from November 4th first, from last year."

"Okay...?" Jasper's heart sped in excitement, but there was also something very unsettling stirring in her gut.

 _Beep!_ The first voicemail began to play over with Rose's voice.

 _"Pearl...please! Where are you?! I need you now...I don't understand why you ran away from me..."_

"Rose's voice…" Jasper breathed. She hadn't heard that voice since….

"Next voicemail," Pearl said, gesturing to the phone.

 _Beep!_ Rose's voice continued.

" _I thought you wanted to see me happy...I thought...well, it does not matter any longer...but really, I need you now. I'm here at the hospital but...but something has gone wrong with the baby! Oh, Pearl, please...! I am so scared! Please come back!"_

 _Beep!_

"One more," Pearl said.

 _Beep!_ The next voicemail came on with another person's voice this time, one Jasper wasn't familiar with.

 _"Pearl! What the hell?! Where the fuck are you?! Did you hear what happened?! Rose is-I...I can't even talk about it! The baby is fine...but you need to get here now! Rose...Rose didn't...sob...she didn't make it! SHE'S DEAD, PEARL! WHERE ARE YOU?! JUST...JUST WHY...?!"_

Pearl flinched as the last voice screamed at her through the phone. Once again, she started to shake. Tears began to stream down her face as she buried her head into the pillow.

Jasper sat in silence for a moment. "No…no! What a bunch of bullshit, Pearl!" Jasper said, shaking. She exited the app and went to the text messages.

Her breath fluttered as she violently scrolled through some of the older texts, stuff about funeral arrangements, and then finally…Rose's messages.

"Jasper…you don't need to look through-"

 _I miss you so much, Rose._

 _I should have been there for you. Please forgive me, Rose. Please show me a sign that you forgive me!_

 _Merry Christmas, Rose. Thinking of you._

She kept scrolling, finding more one-sided conversations until she got the message:

[We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.]

The phone dropped from Jasper's hand, and she didn't even bother to notice or pick it up.

Rose...

Jasper leaned over, burying her face in her hands and letting her hair hide the rest. "Fucking shit..." She gripped her hair, almost pulling it out. She couldn't stop shaking. "FUCKING SHIT!"

Her throat felt tight. Her stomach felt sick. Jasper stood up. "I'll be right back," she snarled, slamming the door behind her and passing through the hallway.

Pearl lifted her head to catch the sight of Jasper's face. That cold hard realization was enough to shatter Pearl's soul. She wanted beer...booze...sleeping pills! Fuck, she wanted anything to make this wretched pain stop. But nothing compared to seeing the very sign of life leave the gangbanger's eyes before her.

"Jasper..." Pearl murmured. She flinched when she heard stuff breaking in another room. Jasper screeched and hollered, tearing at herself just as Pearl had done the first few nights she had played the messages over to punish herself. At that moment, Pearl knew she and Jasper were one and the same now. Lost to this world. Hollow and empty.

Pearl simply sat there in silence as Jasper's pained and tormented shrieks echoed through the house. "WHY?! WHY, GOD, WHY?! I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL ROSE!" Eventually the yelling stopped. Pearl never thought she would personally wish for that raspy voice to shriek even more, but the silence was too cold and almost mocking at this point.

"Oh, Jasper..." Would Jasper turn her rage on her next? Pearl wished that she would. She'd give anything to never see or feel anything ever again about now.

After what felt like hours, the door creaked open. Pearl held her breath and prepared herself for anything. A punch. Jasper's hand around her neck. Anything. But instead, Jasper trudged in so quietly and seemingly unaware of the world. She reached over and unlocked the handcuff.

Pearl blinked. "You're…you're letting me go…?"

"I don't want to see your face anymore. Take your ass to the car before I change my mind," she grumbled. She tossed a blouse and jeans to Pearl. "Get dressed. I'll grab your shit."

Pearl crumpled the clothes to her chest. "Setting me…free…. R-Right," she said quickly, bowing her head. In all honesty, she didn't even know if she wanted to leave anymore. For a second through this morning, Pearl had wondered if she was going to die, but...would that be such a bad thing now?

She stood up and quickly squirmed into the clothes Jasper stole from her home the night before. A few minutes later, Jasper returned to the room, holding a piece of cloth in her hand.

Jasper grabbed her shoulders and put a blindfold over her. "I'll tell you where to go. Move it."

Jasper guided Pearl to the car and threw her items in the back, then got in the driver's seat. "Sit in the back with your shit, and keep that blindfold on." With nothing left to be said, Jasper blasted the radio at full volume. Pearl assumed it was because Jasper didn't want to talk, and that was fine by her. The two were sufficiently broken anyways.

Pearl had to wonder just how different the two of them truly were. Breaking away in their childhood after Rose had taken down Pink Diamond, Pearl had gone one way in renewing her life and Jasper fell even deeper into the hands of another. And yet...here they were, joined in misery and heartbreak over Rose's death.

Figuring Jasper must be too lost in thought, Pearl feigned sleep in the backseat, supporting her head with her hand. Hand hiding her face, she gently peeped through the blindfold, enough to recognize what part of the city she was in. Also, she wasn't going to risk letting Jasper take her to a landfill. To her relief though, Jasper seemed to be following word.

 _So weird to see Jasper all grown up…._ Though she was never close enough to really miss Jasper, it felt…sort of like a bittersweet reunion, being in her company again. A really, really, awkward, fucked up reunion, but a reunion nonetheless. _God, when was the last time I spent time with another human being?_ Maybe Pearl was just lonely to feel that way.

Once they reached Pearl's apartment, Pearl rubbed her eyes out of habit once Jasper gave her permission to remove the blindfold. Some song about not fearing death echoed inside the car. "Jasper," she called, not caring if Jasper heard her or not.

Jasper turned down the music. "What? You're home now. Get out."

"I..." She paused and blushed. Is this even worth it? "I…I have things in my apartment...things to help us forget...I know we both knew Rose so maybe you'd like to...with me...?" she stammered, twiddling her fingers as the wind washed into the open car door.

Jasper chuckled weakly. "Heh. I dunno. Sort of trying to..." Her words drained away as she looked out the window. "But shit, maybe it won't be so bad." She helped Pearl out of the car. "Alright," she murmured.

Pearl frowned. "Sort of trying to" what? But Jasper's eyes were already starting to brighten a miniscule bit. Going a bit pale, Pearl nodded and gestured for Jasper to follow her up to the apartment. "Just promise not to mix pills with the beer, okay?"

With Jasper's encouragement, she opened her door and allowed the gangster to saunter into her home. Pearl immediately went to the kitchen counters and started peeking in her hiding places for her "fun stuff". She slid a few beers to Jasper to start off with. "Let's start small."

"Thanks. You know, for all those years of growing up around you, I never expected you'd become a drinker. I don't blame you though." Jasper plopped into the sofa and cracked open a beer. "Assholes fuck people up like that," she added between a gulp.

"Mhmmm hmmm..." Pearl agreed.

"And I'm just sooo sure that only one certain asshole ruined your life," Pearl groaned, sinking into the cushion beside the Amazon goddess.

"So..." Pearl took a large drink. "Tell me...what happened to you, Jasper? I know you were left with Yellow Diamond...but what happened to you while you were under her thumb? I missed out for over a decade and...I honestly thought she might've controlled you or held you and the other gangsters hostage or something."

Jasper flinched at Pearl's last sentence, around the time the word hostage was mentioned. "Well, you know, I'm in a gang," Jasper said, taking another swig. "It's tough life out there for people like me. You just gotta suck it up and deal with it."

"One thing though-" she continued. "-is…it's complicated. I wanted to stay loyal to my mom's gang, maybe even rise as the new boss despite being so young. But then...Yellow saw potential, so she took me in." She drank some more. "Anyway I was made for this sorta thing. Unlike you, no offense. Maybe you are better off as a normal citizen." She finished her beer already and reached for another.

Pearl reached for another drink as well. "Unlike me?" Pearl responded with a bit of a smile. "Clearly, you've never seen me fight before. Also you have no idea about my origins as well...let's just say I never started off with a clean slate."

"What, you a heir to a crime lord too or something? Fuck off." Jasper barked a laugh. "I doubt it's not near as inescapable as mine."

Pearl shot an offended, yet amused look to Jasper. "Well then. I suppose you don't know a thing me."

As they talked, their empty bottles accumulated. Not much of Pearl's, but Jasper definitely had. She swore Jasper must have consumed a pack already, and Jasper didn't seem close to wanting to stop. Pearl furrowed her brow. _Is she gonna be okay?_ But Pearl brushed it off…Jasper probably needed it.

Jasper laughed at Pearl's tiny pile. "Shit boy, you're lightweight as shit, aren't you?"

Pearl turned her nose up. "Well excuse me for wanting to pace myself."

"Pffft, suuure, Pearl. Me though, I got a bigger immunity long ago, I need way more than these dinky things." She pushed the empty beer bottles aside and went to the rest of the "fun stuff". "How bout some stronger shit? Let's have some fun."

"Well, aren't you getting into high spirits?" Pearl laughed, then lost her smile. Even on the verge of getting drunk, she had to wonder if Jasper was going to be okay. Pearl shrugged. "Top cabinet on the right. Be my guest." Some of the stronger liquors would surely knock a normal person out, but thankfully...for Pearl's amusement, Jasper wasn't quite normal. "Fun, you say?"

"Pfft duh. You said you wanted to forget, right? There we go."

"Well yes, I did say that, but _hic_ -" Pearl interjected, but Jasper had already grabbed the strongest booze she had. Perhaps Jasper was right. Perhaps the best thing for them was to drink away the day together until they faded into nothing. After all, weren't they nothing without Rose?

Jasper set the stronger booze on the table for both of them, then drank some herself, taking her time on this one.

Jasper swallowed and looked to Pearl. "Aww, lighten up, Pearl. You gotta know I got the blood of a dragon in my veins. Anyway, why don't you tell that cute little origin story of yours?" She leaned forward, curious but also challenging. "Go on, I wanna know how a sweet little daint like you never had a clean slate ever."

"My origins... You wanna know where I came from, huh? Fine. Ruin the _hic_ mystery and my fun, will you? I was born to White Diamond if you must know. I was her...personal assistant and...well...her daughter. Let's say I was made for her." Pearl closed her eyes. "That's all I'm saying now."

Jasper spat out her drink at Pearl's sentence, spraying the mess on her own side of the coffee table. "You WHAT?! You're kiddin me!" She guffawed. "What a fuckin lie, Pearl! I do see the resemblance th- Wait! Are you ffuckin serious?! What the fuck, Pearl?!"

Pearl stiffened when Jasper spat her drink out. "Ohhhhh..." She threw her hands up in an annoyed gesture. "Now you see the resemblance, do you?!"

"And here you go bein' a waitress," Jasper mused with a chuckle. "You could've had a funner life ahead of you, girl."

"It's not something I like to bring up often. My status as her daughter is a secret for a reason. As you can see, I'm better off without her."

"Hey, not everyone knows that bitch boss can breed! You though you're way prettier so don't blame me for not knowing."

Pearl rolled her eyes, but felt her cheeks grow slightly pinker beyond the buzz she already had. She thinks I'm pretty. She placed her cup down and leaned into the couch, done drinking for the day. Jasper on the other hand still sipped like a glutton who just discovered water in the desert.

"What was it like then?" Jasper asked her, cocking a brow and still smiling. "You gotta tell the deets."

Pearl smiled. "Well you see, Jasper," she began. "I was her secret weapon. A beautiful, fragile young girl no one bothered to view as a threat, to be precise. But you're right. It was...haha...it was hysterical! The _hic_...the best part was when I got to weed out the idiots! The weak links!" Pearl laughed louder than Jasper, slapping her knee.

Jasper's eyes widened. "Wow," Jasper breathed. "That is...horrifying. Who knew you could be such a fucking killer, girl!" She slapped Pearl's back. "Now that makes me so eager for you to join my gang. Oh man."

Pearl's heart sank suddenly. A killer...that's what I am...what I'll always be…. "Look, Jasper," she murmured. "I really am over the gang stuff though. Really. I'm trying to get my life together. I'm studying to be a dancer. It's…" She paused. "It's what I want."

"Awww Perll," Jasper moaned. "Y'r-" She interrupted herself by taking another clumsy gulp. "Y'r so…I don't even…lucky I guess."

"Lucky? Am I? Well that's a first…"

"Heh yeeah. I dreamt of that shit before but that's all it is is dreams. Didn't finish high school or clean enough record to get hired and not smart enough for college. We not citizens Pearl we're monsters born n' raised and we'll never get outta this shit." She chuckled. "We gotta ACCEPT shit. You though you can kinda…kinda get a break from it…unlike me. We will always be monsters, y'know? She ended up grabbing the whole bottle, about to drain it into herself.

"Jasper, no." Pearl touched her arm and pulled the bottle away. "You got enough." In a way, despite the way that Jasper slobbered and drank, it was weirdly hard to look away. The savage's hair was wild and disheveled, and the droplets of the booze trickled down the gangbanger's collarbone onto her breasts.

"Pleease, Perlll," Jasper said, trying and failing to reach back for the booze. "I need it, Pearl. Plus I got nuthin left." Jasper flinched when she said it. Tears pricked her eyes. "Fuck...I…I do got nothing left, do I?"

"Jasper…." Pearl realized she had nothing to say.

Hesitantly, Pearl pushed a tuft of Jasper's bleached ivory hair from her face just so she could get a better look at the savage hidden beneath. Beautiful and wild. Untamed. But so rough and brutal. Through drunken eyes, Pearl was starting to fall in love with simply looking at this poor creature.

"Jasper...don't go back. Don't go back to Yellow Diamond," Pearl mumbled, her words slurring a bit as she leaned on Jasper for support. "You don't need her…you don't have to go back…I…I can help you…just please don't _hic_ go back…okay?"

Jasper wiped the tears from her eyes. She slid a large, muscular arm around the smaller woman. "Free...yeah..." she rumbled. "Yes...I like that…o…okay..."

Jasper pulled Pearl closer and nestled her against herself, to substitute something she couldn't quite remember. Her words drifted out. "Let's stay here...yeah..." She drifted further to sleep, not wanting to let Pearl go.

Was being free even possible? Pearl couldn't really say.

And yet, something felt very right about riding the wave of drunken oblivion with Jasper. All she knew was that the company with this brutish woman was enough to ease the pain of what had happened that day. All that sorrow...was it all really just for Rose?

"You're so silly," Pearl said softly. It seemed impossible that the couch was enough to contain the two together, but it was working out.

As Jasper said, they had no one left in this world. They had both lost their purpose in life. Jasper had lost the person who had ruined her life and Pearl had lost the same person who just so happened to be the love of hers. Fate was a strange thing.

A few deep breaths told Pearl that Jasper was asleep, and Pearl finally felt safe enough to let go. The morning would bring something new with Jasper. Most likely the worst hangover she would ever experience, but still, something new.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: This is one of my favorite chapters. 3 Please enjoy.

"Uuurg..."

Jasper cracked open an eye, and immediately felt sick as light pierced into her face.

 _Ugh, fuck my life._

"Peridot," she groaned. Where was that shithead? She needed a fucking Ibuprofen.

Jasper slumped face-down on the couch, groaning dramatically. Weird…beneath the strong smell of alcohol, there was a slight flowery smell to it. Since when did the couch smell like flowers?

 _This isn't my place. I'm at Pearl's place._ The realization hit her immediately. _Wait…why the fuck am I at Pearl's place? Why would I get drunk at Pearl's place?!_

She allowed her memories to gather. Rose…that's it. They were forgetting about Rose. Ugh. She didn't even want to think about this right now with all the sickness she was already feeling.

She forced herself to sit up, dealing with the wave of nausea that hit her. She looked around. Pearl was nowhere in sight. Also, the clock indicated it was 11 PM, and the light that was killing her eyes was a goddamn lamp. Wow. Fucking fantastic.

 _So it's nighttime now. How MIA even am I?!_ She looked around for her phone, hoping she at least notified Peridot. She rushed to the belongings she left on the counter to see if it was there. God fucking dammit! She must have left it in the fucking car! Hopefully nobody stole it.

 _How was I supposed to know I would get trashed all day?!_ she could already imagine herself saying to Peridot.

Pearl groaned and put her hand to her head. Her skull pounded and she instantly felt the urge to throw up. God, alcohol consumption was a mixed up bag of misery.

She rubbed her eyes as she walked out her room. Memories jumped back to her when she spotted the sleeping brute snoozing soundly on the couch. The living room was a mess, with empty bottles everywhere, and the stench of alcohol reeked from the carpets and furniture.

Pearl paused, preparing for the extra pressure in her head as she cracked open the curtain for some light. However, when she did, none came, save for the cityscape ahead. She slapped a hand to her head. _We drank in the morning, didn't we?_

With a small glance to Jasper, Pearl sighed and thought for a moment. Where was her phone? She glanced around the room and found the bag of items that Jasper had scooped up. "Okay..." She stumbled over until she reached the bag, and sifted through its contents.

"My phone..." she muttered, not seeing the item there. "Jasper forgot to bring it inside, didn't she?" With another look to the sleeping gangster, Pearl stole the keys and crept outside to Jasper's car. She noticed a phone sitting in the cup holder of the front seat. Pearl hopped in, seizing the phone for herself. Rats. It was only Jasper's.

She was about to set it down, but morbid curiosity kept her holding onto it. "Hm...should I really? Well, I suppose this is fair. She kidnapped me and listened to my phone...so let's see what you have going, Jasper..." She unlocked the phone rather easily. The date of her mother's death was the code to the lock. "Oh, Jasper...too predictable..." Her eyes scanned through Jasper's texts. One such name caught her eye.

Lapis Lazuli

So it's true. Jasper did know the notorious interrogator. Pearl scanned over the texts to and from Lapis Lazuli. Jasper had her listed as a special contact, but there was very little to see. Most of the texts were from Jasper.

 _I miss you_

 _Lapis pls I need u...dont leave me here..._

 _Just one more hit of fusion pls? U can use me if u want_

Pearl frowned. Fusion? What the hell was that? But what unnerved her was the latest text. This one really was from Lapis, sent around five hours ago.

 _Jasper, where are you? Yellow diamond is looking everywhere for you!_

Pearl bit her lip, thinking quickly before deleting the text. She looked at the other texts from today as well, from someone called Peridot- whose messages were full of screeching demands for Jasper to get back home.

As hungover as Pearl was, she remembered last night. Jasper was like her...wasn't she? She wanted to get clean too. She needed a different life. Pearl deleted the texts from Peridot as well. "I'll protect you, Jasper- ah!" She jumped when she spotted Jasper at the car door, causing her to drop the phone.

"Oh...Jasper...I...I was looking for my phone and I couldn't find it...so...er..."

Jasper stumbled to her feet. She needed to text Peridot, but first...

She found her way to the bathroom to vomit and do her business. When she was finishing up washing her hands, she couldn't help but peek into the medicine cabinet.

 _I really went overboard with Pearl's shit last night. I really shouldn't...ppffft, fuck it._ She swallowed a couple Ibuprofens then stumbled towards the car. Her mental haze disappeared a bit when she noticed the lights were on inside her car, illuminating in the darkness around it.

 _What the fuck?_ She tried to focus on who was inside.

"Hey...get out of my fucking- PEARL? What are you doing?!"

As Pearl stammered stupid excuses, Jasper noticed her phone had fallen from Pearl's hand.

"Why do you have my phone?!" Jasper stormed into the car and snatched it away. "Get out of my car! Out! Now!"

Pearl quickly exited the car and folded her arms, firing a glare back to Jasper after getting yelled at. Pearl leaned against the car, shaking guiltily while pretending to be occupied with a loose string from her blue blouse.

Jasper scanned through her phone, quickly opening the texts and calls to see if there was any suspicious activity from Pearl. No new texts or calls... She huffed a sigh, but still.

"You snooping bitch!" Jasper barked. "Do you know how fucking dangerous it is to mess with my phone?! God, it's like you're suicidal!"

"Excuse me, but you left my phone at your little gangbanger hut, you fool," Pearl said, smoothing back some bangs. "Which means that I have to use someone else's phone in order to make sure that no one's looking for me or calling on some police manhunt to find me! You know...because somebody kidnapped me earlier today!"

"Lesson number one, shitface: Don't use a gangster's phone! Did prison dumb you down or something?!" Snarling in frustration, she slumped into the driver's seat and opened the message app to text Peridot.

"Jasper, no…"

 _hey got drunk today, forgot to lyk of the mia._ She clicked the send button. Pearl recoiled, and Jasper snapped another look at her.

"Is this some kind of sick trick?!"

"What?"

"You invited me to drink at your house and now you're on my fucking phone! What's your fucking deal, Pearl?! Trying to get me into the fucking prison you just got out of?!"

"Wh-what? N-no, I-I mean you do deserve it but, it's not like that! I wouldn't wish prison on any-"

The phone dinged. As expected, the little nerd was still awake.

 _Jasper? where are you? ive been texting u all day!_

Jasper shot a very indignant glare at Pearl's now very pale face. _i didnt get any texts from u,_ Jasper typed back.

 _Well I've been sending you a lot! even Lapis tried to text you! where are you? Yellow Diamond is looking for u!_

 _Ill be right their_

"Worthless piece of shit."

"Worthless?" Pearl said. "I'll have you know that I let you stay at my home and drink my alcohol after you flipping kidnapped me! And thanks for making the huge mess by the way! I really appreciate it!"

"AND THANKS FOR PROBABLY GETTING ME KILLED!" Jasper cried back. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING- Actually, you know what?! Never mind!" She shook her head. "Fuck this shit. Once I bring your phone back, I'm done with you."

"THEN JUST KEEP MY DAMN PHONE! What was I even thinking, thinking we could fix this? We were just drunk. That's all it was!"

"Fix what?"

"Like you would care. Worthless!" She stormed back into her house and slammed the door.

"Pearl, wait, you're not worthless, okay?! I didn't mean it like-" But Pearl was already gone. Jasper snarled while pulling at her own hair. Goddammit, not right now. She looked back at Peridot's messages.

"Lapis…" A weird, unwanted warmth oozed her insides. Jasper jammed the keys into the ignition and sped off.

"You're not dying."

"Y-yes I am," Jasper sobbed.

Tortured sobs echoed through the captive room as Lapis stroked through Jasper's hair. They sat together on the floor, Jasper curled pathetically on the ground. The brute shivered as if the room was below zero, and she cried into Lapis's lap.

Lapis sighed again, and she wiped the sweat from Jasper's forehead, pushing away some of the stray bangs that clung to her face. "You're not dying," she repeated.

"No, Lapis," Jasper choked. "I really can't go any longer. I need fusion again. You gotta let me go!"

Lapis shook her head. Hesitantly, she glanced back to the bandages covering Jasper's arms and neck. "I shouldn't have given you fusion." It'd been only a couple days since Jasper's recent high, and it was enough to decide she should never have it again.

"It was just a bad high, Lapis," Jasper sobbed. "Lapis, please!"

"You almost killed yourself. You almost killed us! This isn't safe anymore; you're staying here until you don't want this drug anymore."

"Lapis! I need it! GIVE IT TO ME!"

"Did you just yell at me?" Lapis stood up.

"W-wait, Lapis, I'm sorry, I-"

"I already told you that you cannot leave this place until you stop wanting fusion." She swished to the opposite direction and headed towards the chamber's exit.

Lapis walked down the hallway, hastening each time Jasper's crazed voice was heard. Even when drowned out, Jasper's tortured hollers and cries for help still managed to pierce Lapis's ears. She's heard plenty of screams as an interrogator, many worse than Jasper's, but some nauseous feeling told her that Jasper's would be the one that'll haunt her most of all.

 _I'm sorry, Jasper. But I'll fix you._

"Jasper texted back. She told me she's on her way."

Lapis waited, hunched rather lazily over a loveseat in the apartment Jasper shared with Peridot. She took a drag of her cigarette before glimpsing at the nerdy roommate, who had just emerged to give the notification.

"That's about time. Where even was she?"

"Yeeeaaah, about that." Peridot bit her lip. "She informed me she got drunk."

"Wow. I knew it." Way too predictable. Jasper was like a loyal dog, always immediately at her boss's beck and call. That was just...Jasper. A workaholic trying to run from the past, yet she still held onto the pain. But there was one thing that held her back from that aspect…

There was only one way that seriously caused her to slack off. And that was when she became a wasted, drugged up, immoderate wreck.

"Guess she's here now," Peridot said as some lights danced from outside. Lapis smoothed out her blue hair as Jasper's car pulled in. She remained lazed on the loveseat, eyes on the door for its inevitable opening.

Something urgently stomped from outside, and just like that, that big reckless brute rushed in, swinging the door open in front of her.

"Sorry I'm lat- Lapis!" Jasper beamed at the blue-haired ex and former drug dealer. She frowned right after, then looked to Peridot instead. "So what's going on?"

"You can ask her," Peridot shrugged. "I got work to do." She picked up her Starbucks Doubleshot then walked back to her room.

Jasper clenched her fists when the door shut, then turned back to Lapis. "So what's up?"

 _Goddammit, Jasper._ Lapis couldn't help but feel sick at that combination of overjoy and desire that brewed in Jasper's eyes. How she- a small, dainty, blue-haired thing- seemingly have the keys to this giant woman's heart? It was never that simple.

They had quite the history together, ever since the moment Jasper had enticed Lapis with those hips and that twisted personality. Lapis couldn't help but fire back by taking Jasper on a wild ride with a sinister drug that had once only been reserved for keeping her captives reliant. Fusion. It worked wonders to keep Jasper close to her. Too close, but Lapis nevertheless wanted the big woman beside her on those cold nights. It was better than existing alone.

But now…look where that led.

"No emergency," Lapis said, sitting back in the chair. "Yellow Diamond wanted to know where you were. She was about to send out some scouts to locate you, but you're here now. So...tell me about your little captive this morning, Jasper. Peri says you let her go."

She popped open Pearl's phone from her purse and flashed it to Jasper. "Are you in some waitress kidnapping phase?"

"Jeez," Pearl murmured to herself after getting washed up. Her face was close to the mirror, analyzing the obvious puncture mark on her neck. Whether it was the drug or the needle Jasper used before kidnapping her, Pearl could not tell, but it sure would be difficult to conceal. At least it didn't hurt though.

Pearl didn't know why she had to get upset so easily. Maybe she was just too hungover. Maybe she just had enough of it. Or maybe she was just awful in general. Maybe Jasper was right.

 _Worthless… is that how I'll always be?!_ First her mother and then Rose and now Jasper. Maybe her friends believed it too- she's barely talked to any of them since Rose's death. How could she? It was too shameful.

She hated coming to terms with it, but some weird part of her was hoping that rugged gangbanger would end up filling that void in her chest. As if anyone could. Only Rose ever did.

 _Oh Rose…what is wrong with me? You told me not to dedicate my life to you and yet that's all I can ever do._ It was so wrong. It was so disgusting.

Jasper stiffened, then narrowed her eyes. "Where did you find that phone?"

"On the floor in the room you kept her in. I also noticed your room is a complete mess. What's with that?"

Jasper kept her sharp eyes glaring at Lapis. _Oh, Jasper…way too pouty._ "Why do you care?"

Lapis glanced down to the phone, that Peridot had helped her hack into, and inspected the picture of the captive. "She's pretty...very pretty. But you're making a mistake. She looks like me." She gave Jasper a pained look and shut the phone. "When will you accept we broke up, Jasper?"

"Are you serious?! Do you always think everything's about you? That chick knew Rose Quartz!" Suddenly the disheveled wreck doubled over, heaving stomach contents all over the carpet.

"Jasper!" Lapis cried as she flinched. "You're sick! I mean it! Look at yourself! You're such a mess!"

Lapis took a deep breath, taking out her frustrations by crushing her finished cigarette in the ash tray. "Anyway-" Lapis tried to ignore the disgusting vomit on the floor. "-I'm taking this phone to Yellow Diamond. You're bottoming out again. You disappeared all day and your eyes are bloodshot. And you kidnapped some waitress. Now, usually that's fine, but then you let her go. She knows you. She knows our base and possibly our secrets and so now, we need to let Yellow know about this."

"What?! Lapis, she's not even a threat!"

"Oh really?" She flashed the phone to Jasper once again, this time showing Jasper Pearl's contact list. "So...do all of your little captives happen to have White Diamond's special number on hand?"

"Wh...White Diamond?" Jasper gawked. She slapped a hand to her forehead. "Shit! SHIT!"

"Jesus Christ." Lapis stood up. "Jasper...this girl is involved with White Diamond and you know it." She placed a hand on Jasper's shoulder. "We need to keep you protected now. I know it's hard to trust in me, but I want to help you. You're hurting again."

Jasper yanked away from her touch, forcing Lapis to step back in terror. "No! You're not helping me! This isn't helping, I need this woman, I need- FUCK! I NEED ROSE QUARTZ!"

"Jasper, what is wrong with you?!" Lapis recoiled. "You're nuts!"

"NO, YOU'RE NUTS! GIVE ME THAT PHONE, YOU RANCID CUNT, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THAT TO YELLOW DIAMOND, YOU ARE NOT-"

Thinking fast, Lapis dug into her pockets and brought a syringe out. Without any warning, Lapis drove the syringe into Jasper's neck and let the destabilizer liquid do its magic to put Jasper to sleep.

Jasper looked at Lapis in a look of shock. She tried to fight the venom and hold herself up, but blacked out right as she was on her way to the floor.

The sound of something falling alerted Peridot through her headphones. Peridot rushed out her room. "Jasper!" Peridot cried.

She looked up at Lapis, and spotted the sedative known as "destabilizer" in her hand. She frowned.

"Ehem. Lapis. You do know that I only requested your help because I figured Jasper would listen to you the fastest, right?" Peridot said. "Also, I assume you know this is worth it? Our Diamond would be very unhappy to have one of her strongest henchmen out of service."

"Jasper needs to be rehabilitated again," Lapis said. "She's back to drinking and taking some sick shit. Not to mention...she may be carrying a torch for a White Diamond affiliate."

"White Diamond's affiliate?"

"That girl Jasper took to your base the other day knows White Diamond personally. Did you even look?"

"Uh…" Peridot blushed. "Maybe I walked outside my room a few times?"

Lapis shook her head. "Anyway. Jasper is fucking up is what she is."

Peridot crossed her arms. "I'm gonna be honest with you, Lapis. I don't know if you're aware of this, but today Jasper was saying stuff about how Rose was dead. Just so you know. It explains the room." She nodded towards the cluttered, destroyed bedroom.

"So she found out then."

"Yeah. She found out. The captive must have told her- well, I mean, obviously."

Peridot was wise enough to avoid Jasper's tantrum in the morning, but now she realized she should have at least sent a comforting text for when Jasper calmed down. She sighed.

"Lapis…seriously…if you're going to take her back, then take care of her this time. Don't let her take drugs."

"Thanks, Peridot. I'll do my best." She gave Peridot a weak smile.

Peridot didn't return the smile. She adjusted her glasses. "Anyway, I notified Yellow Diamond of Jasper's return, and she's relieved. Also, you're going to want to put Jasper in the captive's room, since her bed is basically in shambles." Lapis knocks Jasper out, she gets to put her to bed. Good enough punishment for her.

"Okay. I'll do that while you clean the vomit."

Peridot scowled. _Bitch._

"Ugh…why must you be so heavy?"

Lapis used a great amount of strength to lug Jasper into the room. She pulled the covers over her sleeping ex, and heaved in exhaustion. "Ah…okay..."

Lapis sank to her knees beside Jasper's body and hesitantly ran her hand through Jasper's hair, as though she was trying to sooth the unconscious gangbanger again. Fuck...Jasper would never forgive her for this, but all she wanted to do was hold her close again, like she did when Jasper was held captive.

"It's going to be okay, Jasper...Yellow Diamond will have you taken care of," Lapis murmured, still running fingers through those messy strands. She bent down to give Jasper's cheek a gentle, lingering kiss.

Pearl regretted what she was doing, seeking out Jasper again. But as it turned out, phones were absolutely expensive and it would cost her around four hundred dollars to replace the one she had lost at Jasper's place. Plus the cab ride was nice, letting her get some air after a long day of drinking.

As soon as they pulled up to Jasper's house, she thanked the cab driver and let him drive off. Knowing Jasper, this could take a while.

As she trudged to the door, she noticed a flash of blue through a window. Out of curiosity, Pearl peeked in, watching a smaller figure kneel beside Jasper. The blue-haired woman's slender arm draped around Jasper, and she seemed to be kissing her.

A surprising, hot jealousy pierced Pearl's heart- a feeling she didn't expect to have. _Of course you'd be a lady's woman, Jasper, as crude as you are. With your stupid burliness and voluptuousness. Letting me fuck your stupid attractive body mere hours after meeting you._

When the smaller woman left and closed the door, Pearl lightly tapped the window. No answer.

 _Goddammit, Jasper, I know you're awake._ Quickly and quietly, Pearl lifted the window up and slunk in through the opening. There's no way Pearl was going to interact with any other gangsters. Also, maybe scaring Jasper would be a fun way to make up for drinking so much of Pearl's alcohol.

"Hey. Jasper," she hissed. She lightly shoved Jasper. "Jasper! Dammit, Jasper, I know you're not asle-" She pushed back Jasper's hair and, to her surprise, found a very familiar puncture wound on her neck. "Oh my God..."

"Nnng…" Jasper stirred.

"Jasper," Pearl said quietly.

Jasper blinked, her eyes hazy. "Pearl? Ugh." She rubbed her head. "I feel like shit."

"I was here to get my phone, but Christ, Jasper. What are you doing on that drug?"

"I'm…on a drug?" She froze for a moment. "Shit." She stumbled heavily as she tried to crawl into a sitting position. "Shit, shit, shi-"

"Jasper, shhhhh, lower your voice." She held onto Jasper to keep her from moving, but luckily, the drug seemed to be doing most of the work with keeping her still. "Tell me what happened."

"Lapis…I need to get out of here."

"You need to get out of here?"

"I need to get out of here!"

"Okay, okay, shhh, we will. Keep your voice lowered. Alright, come with me. Do you have your keys with you?"

Jasper nodded. As Jasper shifted, Pearl heard the clanging of keys in her cargo pants.

"Okay…" Pearl whispered. "Here's the plan. We get out of this window, and then we rush as fast as we can to your car. Do you follo-? Jasper, are you even listening to me?"

Jasper's eyelids were drooping down, and her head kept nodding off. Pearl huffed. _This is going to be a chore._

"Come on, Jasper. You need to stay up." She grabbed Jasper from under the armpits and urged her up. "I'll help you, but you need to stay awake."

Jasper groaned and did what she was told…until she stood up and then fell limp in Pearl's arms. It took all of Pearl's strength just to hold her up. "What do you even eat everyday?" Pearl said in disbelief. "Jasper! Hold yourself up for me, won't you?"

 _This is going to take forever,_ she realized. _Oh please, please have nobody see us._

"Why is the interrogator still here?" Yellow Diamond asked her driver.

"I have no idea, my Diamond," her driver, a new lackey named Ruby, or nicknamed Leggy, said.

Yellow pinched her nose. "Well, we certainly don't want her to intermingle with my guards."

She heard the report from Peridot. Jasper was behaving out of line again, and hadn't been in service once today. This gang may be running a drug trade, but groveling addicts acting as henchmen was unacceptable. She should've culled Lapis for even introducing her territory guard to Fusion- a substance her gang makes money on in the first place.

It was so disappointing. Lapis was such a competent interrogator and drug tester, but her methods of handling her lust were absolutely appalling. If Pink's heir was exhibiting Fusion symptoms again, Yellow would unfortunately have no choice but to dispose of Lapis.

Yellow stepped out the car. "Don't wait here. I'll call you."

"You sure, boss?" Leggy asked.

"Don't attract attention," she said. She clicked up to the apartment and knocked on the door.

Lapis was just about to leave when she suddenly heard a knock at the door. Her heartrate quickened. She had heard Peridot mention that Yellow Diamond would visit.

 _Chill out. Maybe it's one of Peridot's gamer friends._

She answered the door, and her sad attempt at self-comfort was disproven. She found herself staring right up at the tyrannical figure on the doorstep.

"Hello, Lapis," Yellow Diamond said icily.

Immediately, Lapis formed the gang sign with her arms and bowed. "My Diamond," she said softly. "You came personally? I was just on my way."

"I am here to see Pink's heir."

"Of course, my Diamond. However, you may consider that now is not a good time. She's recovering through her sleep."

"Recovering through her sleep? I'd like to see how she is doing. _What her symptoms are,_ " she added in a deadly tone to Lapis. "In fact, perhaps you should be here with me as I see what her symptoms are."

Lapis's face paled as she nodded. "Of course, My Diamond."

"Well, move along now," she said with a clap, as if Lapis was a dumb dog that needed clear authority exerted on it. "Show her to me."

"Yes," Lapis said quietly, her eyes shifting to the side. "But be careful. I only had a low dose of sedative at hand. She could still be volatile."

"Alright. Now just position your feet and let go," Pearl told Jasper as she helped her out the window. "Now on the count of three. One…two…three-" She let go and Jasper stumbled and faceplanted on the apartment balcony. Pearl covered her mouth.

 _Oh goodness. This is so embarrassing,_ she thought, cheeks getting pink.

"Urrghh…" Jasper groaned from the other side of the window.

"Just stay there, Jasper. I mean, not that you can go anywhere." She jumped out the window and helped her up. All they had left was to go down the stairs and to the car. She helped drag Jasper down the steps.

"My beautiful face…"

"Let's not worry about that."

"You…bitch…"

"Well it's good to see you're starting to be yourself again," Pearl said in irritation. She looked around for Jasper's car and spotted it.

The door clicked and slid open. "What the-?!" Lapis froze in terror and confusion as she looked in the room. Yellow Diamond peeked in as well and that's when Lapis knew she was fucked.

"What is this?!" Yellow Diamond cried.

"I-I-I-I don't know, my Diamond," Lapis said, her body trembling as if she were a rabbit getting cornered by its predator. Tears pricked her eyes. "J-J-Jasper was i-in here-"

Yellow Diamond snatched the collar of Lapis's blouse and pulled her close. She held onto Lapis in a tight, choking grip. "Does this look like Jasper to you?!" she said, gesturing to the empty bed. Lapis shook her head as tears began to stream down her face.

"My…Diamond…" Lapis strained beneath her grip. "Jasper…really was…" She stopped when her eyes met the window. It was completely open. The wind blew against the curtain.

"What is…?" Yellow released Lapis. Lapis took a deep, relieved breath and rubbed her neck. The two of them walked to the window.

"Could she have escaped?" Lapis mused aloud. "As I have said before, my Diamond, the sedative I had was only a small dose."

"Not escaped! Kidnapped!" Yellow Diamond snapped. Lapis gasped.

"It's that girl in the picture!" Lapis said, looking out the window.

"Well what do you think you're doing? Do something!"

Pearl had been caught.

Pearl was found with Jasper, helping her across the pavement. Behind her, she could see two women looking straight at her through the window: the blue haired woman, and, to her horror, the Yellow Gang's terrifying leader, Yellow Diamond.

"Oh God." Without thinking, she quickened her paste. "FUCK! Come one!" she yelled to Jasper. "Jasper! Please snap out of it, please!" She pulled Jasper forward with all the strength she could possibly muster. "Come on, come on!"

"Notify the guards immediately!" she could hear Yellow Diamond bark an order from inside the house. As those words were being said, the door opened and the blue-haired girl rushed out. With a look at that face, Pearl knew who it was: Lapis Lazuli. _Oh God!_

"Come on, Jasper, we're almost there!"

But before Pearl could lug Jasper any further, she heard the cocking of a gun. The blue-haired woman was before them now, with her gun trained towards Pearl's head. "Drop her," Lapis seethed. "Drop her or I plant a bullet through your fucking skull."

"..." Pearl's shoulders sank. She placed Jasper down gently onto the pavement and stood down herself, putting her hands up.

Jasper opened her eyes a little. She looked to the side. "Lapis…?"

"It's okay, Jasper," Lapis said. "I'll get you out of this mess."

Jasper turned her head to look at Pearl. Pearl trembled as Lapis inched closer and pressed the gun right to her head. "I am taking Jasper back," Lapis said. "And you get to have your brains blown out."

Pearl swallowed.

"…Pearl…are you…a fucking dumbshit?"

Pearl strained her eyes down to see Jasper beside her. "You don't…ever back down…" Jasper continued. "Unless you know you will lose."

"Jasper?" Lapis said. "Oh thank goodness you're waking up. Don't worry, everything will be just fi- AHH!" Out of nowhere, the gun swiftly got slapped out of her hand. Before it could properly clang to the pavement, Jasper swiped it into her grip and aimed it right at Lapis.

"JASPER?! ARE YOU INSANE?!" Lapis cried, backing up and holding her hands up.

"If she dies, so do you," Jasper growled. She tossed the keys to Pearl. "Get in the car."

"Jasper…" Pearl breathed, holding the keys close.

"I SAID GET IN!" She kept the gun aimed at Lapis.

Pearl did as she was told. She rushed to the car and hopped in the driver's seat. She started it and then parked to where Jasper was. "I'm not leaving without you!" Pearl said.

Jasper leaned against the car and slowly pushed herself up. "Never do that again, got it?!" she said as she glared viciously at Lapis. Jasper opened the passenger door and plopped inside.

"GO!" Jasper said to Pearl. Pearl sped off as fast as she could. In the mirror, Jasper could see Lapis frozen in place, watching them leave with a look of absolute confusion and betrayal.

Jasper growled orders to Pearl on where to go. They dodged Pearl's house, but not too far off. Thank goodness Pearl's home was outside gang territory, but she still wanted to be safe.

"Here is good," Jasper grumbled as they reached some hidden, forested area. She rubbed her temples. Her head was killing her, but she had to stay as awake and focused as best she could. Jasper stepped out, pulling Pearl along with her.

"No one will find this car here. We'll walk to your house. No one knows you live there, so we should be fine there," she said. "Avoid the street lights so no one can see us. Hurry up."

"Jasper…"

"What?"

"Thank you."

"…" Jasper looked back at her and blushed. She grunted and kept going. Pearl obeyed and trudged after her. The very faint crack of dawn was the only source of light that led them home.

Eventually they reached Pearl's apartment. The dawn of a new day was breaking, spilling pink light onto the doorstep. Pearl unlocked her door and moved aside for Jasper to make her way through.

Placing her hand on Jasper's back, she led Jasper through the apartment and to her own bedroom. Pearl moved to the side to pull back the covers for her. "Here. You need sleep. We'll figure out this blasted mess after we rest, okay?"

Jasper stood there in surprise. She didn't get it. After all the shit that happened, she didn't understand Pearl's act of kindness…or why she tried saving Jasper's ass in the first place. But she took Pearl's offer regardless. She was so damn tired. They would discuss it tomorrow.

She crawled into the bed. She scooted to the side to make room for Pearl, and Pearl crawled in. She pressed against Jasper's back and pulled the covers over themselves. Before they knew it, they were both fast asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Goodness, this has been a long chapter. Enjoy. 3**

As a new morning came, Lapis was forced to confront her fears head on.

She waited aside Yellow Diamond's door with her arms folded. She didn't want it to seem like anything was getting to her, but her insides stirred with terror about Jasper's disappearance. She had to appreciate the other gangbangers deciding to leave her be. Punishments from the big boss were never light...never light at all.

"Jasper...I'll find you..."

After long (unwanted) last, the door creaked open, and the tall woman dressed in a yellow business suit stood above Lapis. "Come on in."

Lapis swallowed and nodded. She followed Yellow into the room and stood as she watched her boss sit at her desk. "As I much as I want my hitmen to hand over your corpse right now…" Yellow began with tired eyes. "I'm afraid I need you."

Lapis resisted heaving out a long sigh. "Thank you, my Diamond."

"Listen before you thank me. White Diamond's daughter snatched yet another of Pink's heirs, as you know. And I need you to interrogate as much of the White Gangsters as you can."

"That was…wait…White Diamond has a daughter?"

"Don't be so surprised. White Diamond keeps a lot of secrets. I knew this one, but unfortunately, I have no choice but to spill out this information now."

Lapis nodded.

"Anyway-" She paused dramatically, letting the terror sink in on Lapis's inevitable punishment. "You are on thin ice, Lapis Lazuli.

"Fusion or not, you drugged Jasper last night, which assisted in her eventual kidnapping. Because you stepped out of line, I have no choice but to put you under close surveillance. Be lucky this gang needs you right now, Lapis, because if we didn't…would you like to guess what would happen if we didn't?"

Lapis tried to keep herself as steady as possible. "I get tortured?"

"You get tortured _to your death_. Would you like to know the gritty details or shall I move on?"

"I see…um…what about the surveillance you spoke of?"

"You are not allowed to roam wherever you wish from now on. You are not to leave the interrogation premises whatsoever unless you are with another gang member. And if you manage to give any of my guards drugs again…would you like to guess what happens?"

"…I get tortured to death?"

"Good girl. You seem to be getting it."

"I am very regretful, my Diamond. I will make sure such a catastrophe never happens again."

"I sure hope so," she said. "That will be all."

"My Diamond, please wait if you must!"

Yellow fired a glare. "Wait for what?"

Lapis flinched as the guards started to move in on her. "Let me…let me find Jasper! I know you do not trust me, but I know her more than anybody else!"

Yellow said nothing.

"I-I've seen what she's like on substances! She bottomed out with White Diamond's daughter! What if she takes drugs again? I'm the only one that knows what to do!"

Yellow put her hand up. The guards stopped and dropped Lapis.

"I suppose…that is true…" she said. "However…"

"I will not let her take any drugs whatsoever!" Lapis said. "And…and I'll have someone accompany me!"

Yellow sighed. "…Perhaps that could work…if you team up with Peridot."

 _Peridot? The hacker?_ Lapis thought. _Peridot never leaves the base. Would she be able to handle it?_ But Lapis formed the gang symbol regardless. "That would be perfect, my Diamond."

"Very well then, Lapis Lazuli. You may team up with Peridot to look for Jasper."

"Thank you, my Diamond."

"But you only have 24 hours. I need the two of you for your primary work and I will not allow fooling around. And if you fail…you best believe your restrictions will worsen. How does it sound to be isolated in one of your chambers whenever you aren't working?"

Lapis's stomach dropped. But she formed the gang symbol. "I believe I understand now, my Diamond."

"Good. Then go find Jasper. And remember, Lapis: this is the last merciful act I am arranging for you."

"Trust in me, my Diamond. Jasper is as good as back in your hands already."

"We'll see about that." She clapped her hands and the guards seized Lapis out.

Lapis tried her best to remain calm as she trembled her way down the hall outside Yellow's office. She took a deep breath. At the very least, she knew where Peridot always was, if that makes any difference.

Peridot tacked away the last assignment she had for the morning. When she was done, she glanced over her shoulder. She didn't need to do that, with Jasper being gone, but humans were creatures of habit.

"Nyehehehe…" she laughed quietly, opening up the internet application. She typed in her favorite videosharing website and opened up her favorite show: Camp Pining Hearts. A guilty pleasure teen show chock full of juicy drama and cheesy romance.

Peridot leaned back in her seat. She reached over for a bag of Doritos and cracked the bag open. "Ah, Percy and Pier. What are you two lovebirds up to now- AHH!"

Peridot dropped the Doritos and scrambled to shut off the monitor. "H-hey, knock first!" she screeched to Lapis who just randomly appeared at Peridot's door.

Lapis remained unphased. "You," she began. "You told me that Jasper showed up last night with that girl. Why? What was Jasper intending for her? And secondly..." She tossed the girl's phone to Peridot. "Her address. I need it."

"How did you get in my house?!"

"I have a spare key from when Jasper and I were together. But that isn't the point."

"Please tell me this isn't just some lustful reason to why you're demanding these questions."

Lapis's eye twitched. "I'm on a retrieval mission for Jasper under Yellow Diamond's orders. You're coming with me and I'm the one in charge."

"Me?! Leaving here?"

"Don't question the boss. You're the second person closest to Jasper."

"Ehem, I'm the first person closest to Jasper because I live with her!"

Lapis looked away. "Whatever. So tell me what's up."

"I don't know much. Jasper wanted revenge on Rose Quartz as usual."

"What were her other intentions?"

"As I said: I don't know. How was I supposed to know Jasper would find White Diamond's daughter of all people?! I didn't even know White Diamond had a daughter!"

Lapis lit a cigarette. She eyed the phone in Peridot's hand. "Are you able to track her home address with that?"

"I can try."

She took a drag. "Well you better hurry because we only have 24 hours."

"Alright."

Lapis scowled. "You seem very calm about that."

"Oh, Lapis. Lapis, Lapis, Lapis." Peridot reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll be honest with you. Jasper has a very impactful and obvious presence around her. She's also a loyal dog, always running back to wherever she came from. We have nothing to worry about at all!"

Lapis frowned but said nothing.

But then suddenly…she started chuckling. Then she broke into laughing fits. She guffawed loudly in the room. It was Peridot's turn to frown. "Uh…Lapis?" she said.

Lapis recovered quickly. It took a few seconds to have her laughs disintegrate and then for her to calm back down. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm okay. You're just so simplistic sometimes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Peridot…have you ever done drugs?"

"Uh…no?"

"I haven't, but fuck, I am great at making them...and forcing them on our captives for tests. I never thought much of it...bending another person to my will through addiction. It just comes naturally." Lapis breathed out some smoke. She sat down on Peridot's bed, now giving Peridot a serious stare. "Drugs...they make people feel better. Heightened senses of pleasure, creativity, and a sense beyond themselves. After the pain became too much, that's when Jasper fell on my doorstep. I gave her Fusion. She wanted it. Anything to take the pain away..."

Peridot appeared white as a ghost. "Why are you telling me this?"

Lapis shrugged, closing her eyes. She continued. "I could have said no. I could have shoved Jasper away, knowing what it would do to her. That fucking wreck...I'm responsible for her. But whenever I see her, I want to lock her away. I want to keep her held down and subdued in my control." She tightened her fist. "That's why..." She opened her eyes, realizing what she was saying.

"That's why we should be worried."

"Because…you're going to give her drugs again?"

"What? GOD NO! Peridot, I'm worried that White Diamond's daughter will! What do you think happened the moment Jasper found out Rose had died?"

"She got drunk."

"Exactly. And she's going to take more shit! And you know what else? She threatened to shoot me last night in favor for that bitch!"

"She…threatened to shoot you?" Peridot said, not sure if she could believe it. "Why didn't you tell me this? I could have reported it-"

"I don't want Yellow Diamond to know. It's…it's not something I want to worry about. All I care about is keeping Jasper away from that woman. She'll rely on that bitch just like she relied on me."

Pearl woke up before Jasper. For a moment, she glanced over Jasper's snoring form, appreciating the sounds of life from her. It was strange to not see that bed empty in the morning after she had left it.

After a while, Pearl had drifted from the bedroom and into the kitchen, and began to cook breakfast. Some crepes and some expresso was something she hoped Jasper would enjoy after her rough night. It's been ages since Pearl's made or even ate breakfast at all, but it was only courteous to keep someone well-fed, even if she never enjoyed feeding herself much.

But something else kept interrupting her thoughts. _Was I right to do this? I know they drugged her and were locking her in that room...but...should I have just...let it happen?_

 _You really are a terrible person. You always will be._

Pearl remained lost in her own thoughts as she filled the crepes with strawberries and cream cheese. It was a little rich and decadent, much more than what Pearl usually ate in a single day, but she supposed Jasper deserved something good after a rough night of just alcohol and some sort of tranquilizer.

She arranged the plate on a tray and carried it to the bedroom. Perhaps a little surprise on the nightstand would cheer Jasper up.

As she opened the door, she stopped. "Mm?" The bed was empty.

Pearl looked around. "Jasper?" she said, setting the food down. She walked around the bed. "Jasper-? Oh! There you are."

Jasper was kneeling on the floor, peering down at something. Pearl looked over her shoulder to see that it was Pearl's box of memories: the one she made dedicated to Rose which had been tucked beside Jasper's side of the nightstand.

"Oh! Oh my…Jasper, I'm so sorry! I should have hidden that. If I knew you were spending the night, I would have put it somewhere-"

"She's so…" Jasper breathed.

"I beg your pardon?"

"She's so…grown up."

Pearl looked to see that Jasper had been looking through a photo album. It was the one Pearl and Rose made together after they got released from prison. It had photos of them doing many activities, such as eating ice cream or riding the swing sets. Things that were childish, but things that Pearl and Rose had missed out a lot on in their childhood. Rose was always a youthful sort of personality.

But it finally made Pearl realize something. Jasper must not have seen what Rose looked like while growing up. After all, Rose was only fourteen when she killed Pink Diamond.

Jasper's hair draped over her face. "She's so carefree. But so grown up."

Pearl hung her head.

"It's so weird. I…I can't stop looking at this. I hate it, but…"

"Oh, Jasper, that's not weird at all… Would you like to keep it?"

Jasper shook her head. "No. Hell no. I just….I don't know what I'm doing." She closed the book and placed it in the box.

"Jasper…" Pearl gently sat on the bed. She twiddled her fingers. "I am not sure what it is like over at Yellow's Gang, but…you are allowed to grieve here. If you need to…you are safe to do it here."

"Grieve?" She chuckled, somewhat weakly. "Thirteen years from then? Why?"

Pearl rolled her eyes a bit. Jasper changed the subject.

"What was Rose like? I mean, after she got thrown into prison and aside from the whole murderer shit going on?"

"Rose? You want to know about Rose?" Pearl asked. She looked away with heavy eyes. "Rose was…wonderful. She was so kind, or at least she was to me…she was the first one I could truly let my guard down around…we had something special…and she was very soft and beautiful…" She blushed when she realized what she was saying. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ramble."

"I just don't get why she would kill our mom."

"Oh, Jasper." Pearl didn't know what to say. What could she say? She knew all too well why Rose killed Pink Diamond, but she didn't want to dare bring up such a sore spot to Jasper.

"What's that smell?" Jasper said, sniffing the air. "Smells good."

Pearl jumped up. "Oh! Right! The crepes! I made breakfast for you. I hope you like strawberries because that's all I had for this." She picked up the artistically-arranged tray of food she neatly set up for Jasper.

"Oh wow," Jasper said, eyeing the plate with bright eyes. "That looks amazing."

Pearl turned away and blushed. "It's not much, really," she said as a coy smile played her lips. She paused. "…But perhaps you should eat it in the kitchen. I know you don't like Rose, but I don't want her belongings dirtied up."

"Hehe, well as long as I get to eat it, right?"

Pearl couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "Of course. You must be starving after a night of nothing but tranquilizer." She guided Jasper out the room and placed the food on the table. "You go ahead and eat. I will be right back."

Pearl walked back to the bedroom. She made the bed and then tidied up Rose's box, making sure everything was in its place. Everything was perfect minus the slightly-off way Jasper had placed the album in the box. Pearl picked it up, knowing she would be bothered the whole day if it wasn't arranged exactly the way she liked it.

 _Rose…are you proud of me right now?_

 _Are you happy I'm being hospitable for your sister? You always told me she was a lost cause but..._

… _Or are you disappointed in me?_

Lapis had done it. With just the right measurements, she had procured a dosage of the destabilizer that was strong enough to sedate Jasper and bring her back to Yellow Diamond.

"Hmmm..." Lapis took the drug-filled syringe and drifted to Peridot's room where she found the nerd snickering to herself about her show again.

"Hello," Lapis said smoothly, kicking Peridot's chair around so she was forced to look at Lapis peering down at her. With a syringe in her hand. "I have a few questions before we retrieve Jasper."

"AAAAH!" Peridot scrambled, scattering her chips everywhere as she tried to shut off the monitor. "Lapis!" she shrieked. "I told you to knock!" She opened her mouth to complain more, until she spotted the syringe in Lapis's hand.

"Yeah, you told me," said Lapis with a bit of a smile, using her leg to hold Peridot's chair steady. She held the syringe up, tipping it ever so slightly in her fingers towards Peridot as though to pose a bit of a threat.

Biting her lip, Peridot quietly and shakily handed a paper over to Lapis. "I finished printing the coordinates. Is that what you-?"

Lapis quickly brushed the paper away, and seized Peridot's arm instead.

"Lapis, is this part of the-?! AAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Peridot was already trembling in her presence. Good...that makes things all the more easier.

"Peridot. You record data of all things going on in the gang, so you are closer to Yellow Diamond's plans, correct?"

"Th-th-that is classified information!"

She traced the needle along Peridot's skin. "I want to know...why does Yellow Diamond care so much that Jasper is safe? Jasper's never with the others. She's being kept here, away from sight. Don't you think it's a little weird that Yellow Diamond cares all of a sudden?"

She slid the syringe edge across Peridot's neck. "I know your background in hacking. It's impressive. But you're hardly gang material aside from that...so tell me..." Her blue orbs narrowed down at the scrawny hacker, giving Peridot's neck a soft scrape. "Did Yellow Diamond assign you to keep tabs on Jasper? You two share this house together."

Peridot froze beneath the lingering needle being taunted across her neck. Her face completely drained of color.

"Uh...you need to know this about...Jasper...?" she squeaked. "Is this part of the mission?"

"I'm waiting," Lapis said, this time breaking the skin a little.

"She sent Jasper over here after Rose passed away!" Peridot said quickly. "Yellow Diamond hasn't even specified if there's a reason for that! She's also being used as my guard since I'm a pussy that can't defend myself! Now get that away from me!"

Lapis smiled. "Interesting." She pulled the needle away. Peridot sank down in her seat in relief.

Lapis's eyes widened when she realized something. _I'm doing it again. I'm trying to take Jasper for myself...no, no…it's to protect her...she's all drugged up and out there and dangerous! I need to put her back in my chambers before...What's wrong with me?!_

Lapis lowered the syringe and looked down to the floor. Her stance lost its dominance and she pulled away from Peridot, and drifted over rather lamely to the bed. "Thanks, Peridot," she said, somewhat weakly. "This is good information," she added, referring to the paper on Pearl and their mission. She picked it off the floor and looked over it. "We should get this mission over with."

 _Here it is again._

Although Peridot and Lapis haven't talked so often, Peridot unfortunately knew when Lapis was having one of those "moods" again. They happened a lot when Jasper would bring Lapis over while they were dating. Lapis would just suddenly lose interest in everything and become sullen, and then Jasper would awkwardly try to "comfort" her.

Peridot looked up at Lapis, who plodded over to Peridot's bedside with a downcast look in her eyes.

"I want to ask a question. Unless I'm gonna get stabbed for it," Peridot said. "I'm just curious as to why exactly you needed to know that additional information."

"You'll get stabbed for it. So don't ask again…"

"Okay…"

Lapis gave a saddened sigh, diverting her gaze away from Peridot to the paper with Pearl's information.

Side to side, her eyes quickly moved to absorb the facts Peridot had written down about who they were dealing with. "Criminal record," she muttered. "…this is White Diamond's daughter?"

"I'm surprised myself," Peridot said. "And she was only…thirteen when she was arrested?"

"A child did all this? That White Gang…they keep surprising me."

"They think they're above savagery but they really aren't," Peridot said with a shrug.

Lapis set the paper down. "Here's the plan. We drive over there and use Fusion to lure Jasper to me." From her purse, she pulled out a translucent Ziploc bag with a few colorful pills sealed inside. "I'll strike her down there and you'll help me deliver her to Yellow Diamond."

"But what about the-?!"

"I'm not going to give it to her," Lapis said cooly. "Chill."

"I hope Yellow Diamond doesn't get pissed about this."

"I know what I'm doing."

Peridot rose an eyebrow. "You do also know Jasper will just run over to you at the mere mention of Fusion, right? I'm telling you, Lapis, she's like a dog. She'll overpower you too!"

"Oh, Peridot...actually concerned for my safety?" Lapis said, flicking a strand of Peridot's short, blonde hair. "I know how to handle Jasper. I'm the one who brought the beast out of her, remember?"

Pearl returned to the dining room. She bit her tongue to keep herself from laughing at Jasper's very noticeable bedhead. Damn, what an attractive animal, even while disheveled. Pearl grabbed herself a yogurt. "I've wanted to talk to you."

Pearl sat at the table. "I wanted to apologize about the phone stuff yesterday...I don't know what came over me. And I'm not sure what you wish to do at this point in time. I mean..." She chuckled a bit. "I sort of stole you from Yellow Diamond of all people!" She shut her eyes tightly in order to hide her anxiety.

"Don't mention it," Jasper said. "Pfft. I'm the real kidnapper here. All you did was save my ass." She grinned. "No offense but you're a really shitty kidnapper. Like, I could literally walk out this door and leave."

"Alright then," she said with a slight giggle while taking a sip of her expresso. "I'm just a terrible kidnapper. I know." She gave Jasper a little eye roll.

Pearl picked at the blueberries and tried to swallow one down. "Jasper...feel free to ignore this if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. But I have to ask...was that Lapis Lazuli? You know...the one chasing us with the gun before you got us out of there?"

Before Jasper could answer, Pearl added, "Not to bring up a sore spot, but I couldn't stand the way she looked when we escaped."

"Oh...Lapis? Yeah, that's my ex…I think. It's complicated. But she's afraid of me now." She took a sip of her espresso.

"Afraid?"

Jasper put her espresso down so she could spread her arm across the table. She ran her other finger along the marked areas that weren't vitiligo. "See all those scars on this part of my arm? I was about to cut the whole damn thing off...thought it got a disease or something... As for Lapis, I tried to kill her..." Her eyes glazed over, and she pulled away. "It freaked her the fuck out and so she rehabbed me."

"You…why?"

"Drugs. Bad high."

Pearl sighed and looked down into the foam of her own expresso. "I see..." Pearl stirred expresso thoughtlessly with a tiny straw. "The infamous Lapis Lazuli rehabbed you herself...? God, that must have been terrifying for you."

Jasper barked a laugh. "Don't you think the high would've been more terrifying? Or almost getting killed by a high person?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

Pearl struggled to finish off her yogurt. She ate about three quarters of it and then decided she's had enough. She washed out the remaining of it, and then threw the plastic in the trash. She sat back at the table. "Anyway, Jasper, you are welcomed to do whatever you please after breakfast, even if that means getting me and this place out of your hair. I'm sorry about everything that happened yesterday."

"I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, I guess I can return to the posse. But you're sort of in deep shit, Pearl."

Pearl put her face in her hands. "Oh, God. I am, aren't I?"

"Reaaal deep shit, Pearl. Deeper than a puddle of quick sand-"

"Can we not have that imagery?!"

"All I'm saying is…we are so fucked, got it? Mostly you but also me somewhat."

"No. No. No." She started hyperventilating.

"Pearl. Calm yourself."

"YOU CALM YOURSELF! I have a job and a life and a purpose beyond this gang nonsense, Jasper! I...I just grabbed you on impulse! I mean..." She clutched at her own peachy hair. "Was I right to take you, goddammit?! I could have made it worse!"

"Grabbing me on impulse?!" Jasper said. "And why would you save me at all? Why would you even want to save me?!"

"Why save you?! I don't know!" Pearl said. "All you did was…haha…all you did was kidnap me! Maybe I wanted to kidnap you back!" _Why did I save her? I...I wanted to protect Jasper...right? Or did I want to protect Rose's sister?! No!_

What guided her to grab the drugged up gangbanger?! Why couldn't Pearl stop thinking about her?! Rose! Rose! Rose! That's what it was! A slow tear slid down Pearl's cheek. I'm so screwed up, I'm so screwed up!

"Pearl," Jasper stood out of her seat and came over to clasp her hands on Pearl's shoulders. "You need to calm down. You saved me by doing that, and I bet I ruined your fucking life…so just…shut the fuck up about blaming yourself! It's me who's to blame, got it?"

"Oh, Jasper…you did…you did have to force this gang stuff on me…you son of a bitch…haha…" Pearl started laughing.

"Are you okay?"

"Jasper," Pearl gritted, looking at her resentfully yet giving her a vicious smile. Without thinking, she reached upward and roughly kissed Jasper on the lips.

She didn't know why she did it. She expected Jasper to pull away or even to slap her for making such a crude advancement. But to her surprise, Jasper remained in her spot. Perhaps she was frozen at first, but then she leaned in, kissing Pearl back with even harder vigor than Pearl began with.

It took a few moments for Pearl to realize that this wasn't a dream. Jasper was really kissing her and she could only know it was the truth when the kisses came faster and harder, when their tongues entwined and explored each other's mouths; when Pearl was letting out quick and longing moans in between the affection.

Deep down, Pearl was pissed. But she was also so, so needy; oh God, she needed this! She took out her frustrations by kissing Jasper even harder, even growling a bit in the process as if she were some feral animal.

Jasper's hand slid down her back, urging her to lean in as far as she could get with the kisses. Pearl felt ignited. On fire. Oh God, it was something she hadn't felt in such a long, long time, and it was never like this. The fire was new. So were the feelings. "Jasper," she snarled in between another long kiss, her eyes full of need.

Jasper kissed, eagerly and urgently. As if the universe only had a few moments left, she led Pearl to the couch, shoving Pearl down on it before towering over her. Her bleached, ivory hair draped around them as Jasper pinned herself above the shorter and much thinner woman. She delivered famished kisses to Pearl's jaw, all the way down across her neck and over her collarbone.

"Jasper!" Pearl squealed, letting herself be sprawled out on the couch like the caught prey of this wild predator. Already, there was a burning in her core.

"Ah...Ah..." Pearl moaned, shutting her eyes and sharply entangling her hand in Jasper's hair to pull her closer against her flesh. Each kiss left another trail of fire in its wake down her neck and over her collarbone...and it wasn't a dream...nor was it Jasper pretending it was a dream, thankfully.

With Jasper's heated encouragement, Pearl ripped the buttons from her blouse, exposing her chest beneath. She hadn't bothered to wear a bra underneath that day, given how she wasn't as endowed as some women. But goddamn, was she perky. "More, Jasper!" she moaned breathlessly.

Swiftly, Jasper reached down to do the rest, and within seconds, the fabric was splayed to the sides, with Pearl's lithe, naked torso now fully exposed.

With that fabric out of the way, Jasper dipped back down, peppering kisses and occasional nips all the way down Pearl's stomach and sides. Jasper moved back up to kiss around her breasts, then back up to Pearl's neck. She took her time to suck and nip at Pearl's neck to deliver a mark. As she did so, her fingers slipped into Pearl's pants, rubbing and relishing at the progressing wetness as Jasper left her possessive marks like some kind of territorial animal.

"Jasper...please...!" Pearl whimpered, feeling like puddy melting at Jasper's fingertips. The gangbanger's nifty work with her mouth already had Pearl wet against her panties. So embarrassing...but Jasper's hot kisses and nibbles were too much to ignore. She threw her head back, pushing her chest up further as an offering.

Every bite to her flesh made a shiver race down Pearl's spine. Even with Jasper's naturally wild look, she hadn't considered that Jasper would be such a vicious, animalistic lover.

Pearl moved her hips against those warm, strong fingers- anything to drench the fire now raging at her core. "Fuck...Jasper!"

Gripping Jasper's hair tighter, Pearl yanked Jasper down closer to her pussy. "Let's stop messing around. Top me off!"

"Hm." Jasper pulled her fingers out, admiring the sleek shining off of them.

"Wet. But not wet enough," she said, putting the fingers to her mouth and licking them clean. "I don't think you're ready yet. Why don't you help me out first before we get to that?" Jasper pulled back. She pulled off her shirt and unhooked her bra, and hiked her pants and underwear down until all her clothes were discarded on the floor.

She moved back up on top of Pearl, this time with her throbbing pussy soaking above her.

"You are such a fucking tease."

God. At this point, Jasper had Pearl practically dying for that hot tongue sliding up and down her wet slit. But no, Jasper had to keep her needy and wanting more, denying her that insatiable ecstasy until the last moment. Bitch. But all that heated anger just went straight to her core.

And who could resist that gorgeous slit before her, translucent with Jasper's essence? Pearl couldn't help but to inhale Jasper's scent deeply, appreciating her musk before she let her tongue explore the depths of Jasper's pussy. Her long, nimble fingers gripped Jasper's thighs, holding her still as Pearl began to dutifully eat her out. She even attempted to lower her hand towards her own pussy to stroke after a moment of lapping at Jasper's cunt, but Jasper grabbed her wrist and pinned it to her side. Jasper laughed at Pearl's desperation.

Her laughter was replaced with moans of pleasure once Pearl's tongue entered her pussy yet again. "Ah...Pearl, that's...mmm..." Pearl twitched her hand with desperation, and even more wetness pooled over her mouth.

"The only pussy you get to have is mine right now. I'm having yours all to myself. Mmmmnnng, th-that's it, just eat mine...mmmm..."

Dammit... Another whimper left Pearl's lips. What was this? Orgasm denial?! As crude as it was to admit, Jasper and Rose were more alike than she believed. Rose was always fond of this little tactic as well.

Hmmm, I think I'll keep that fact to myself... Pearl's thoughts were alive with flashes of Jasper and Rose, seemingly mixing into one another while trying to force some sort of line in to differentiate between them.

Instead, Pearl put all of her ambitions towards getting Jasper to cum. Oh, she'd make that greedy, striped bitch cum alright. Her tongue slid in and out of Jasper's folds and swirled around her swollen nub of pleasure without actually touching it to tease her. When she did finally reach the clit, she brought it in between her lips and suckled upon it, even going so far as to nibble on it. Pearl's fingers sank into Jasper's thighs, pulling her legs further apart. "That's better," she uttered, her nose brushing Jasper's clit.

One finger slipped inside Jasper's cunt, followed by two more. "Mmmm..." She pumped Jasper as she continued to dutifully eat her out.

Anyone unaware of Pearl's history believed her to be an uppity, pure, little angel. Her ivory skin seemed to represent perfect virginity and her personality was as clean as a newly scrubbed and polished floor. No one would believe that she and Rose would sneak out after hours and make love all night in various parts of the prison. Nobody ever saw the collection of collars, the whips, and balls gags nor the various vibrators that Pearl and Rose had once shared together the moment they left prison. And nobody, not even Yellow Diamond's gang, would know of how Pearl had Jasper moaning up a storm, every shrill cry being pulled so easily from her muscular diaphragm.

Fuck...Pearl loved the way she moaned. She loved the way Jasper's pussy felt on her fingers, the way beads of sweat dripped from her hard torso, and the way her pussy tasted upon her lips as she drank in her new lover's essence...despite bringing only more impatience to be touched herself. But by far, Pearl loved her moans the most.

"Cum, Jasper," Pearl commanded, her fingers fucking Jasper's cunt faster and harder. "Fucking cum all over on me! Mark me as yours!"

"Sh-shit!" Jasper gasped even harder as her climax began to peak. "F-fuck, Pearl, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come! Fuck me, keep fucking me, I'M GONNA COME!"

And then Jasper came. Hot juices flooded Pearl's lips, squirted down her face and breasts faster than Pearl could handle. Effectively, she was drenched with Jasper's essence, marking her efficiently as Jasper's new lover. Pearl smirked, scooping up some of the mess and licking her fingers clean. "For someone so proud, you sure know how to squeal, Jasper," she mocked in a soft, cherry-sweet voice.

Jasper panted as she slumped back, eyes in a stupor of exhaustion and bliss. "Yeah...I get that a lot," she rasped, breathless. Her cheeks grew hot in embarrassment. "Sorry, I haven't been fucked like that since..." She ran a hand through her matted bangs. Briefly looking back at Pearl, she froze up, her eyes trained on Pearl with a look of pure horror and confusion. Her eyes flashed back to normal and she shook her head quickly. "Never mind. But that was fun."

"Jasper?" Pearl asked quietly. She reached forward, feeling a bit pale. "Are you alright…?"

Jasper didn't respond. Instead she moved to Pearl once more. "Anyway, now it's your turn," she growled. "Horny slut."

Pearl smirked wildly, the heat of the moment starting to make her forget what just happened. "A slut, am I? Say the one moaning like a wanton whore for the entire apartment building to hear-ahhhh!" Her cheeks flushed as soon as Jasper's hot, heavy tongue licked her folds. "Ahh...Ah..." That tease...going so damn slow!

Pearl lowered further against the couch, moving her hips against Jasper's lips. "Faster! Come on!"

"Jasper..." she moaned, one hand going to cup her own small breast and the other going to Jasper's hair. "Jasper...please...!"

And then, all of Pearl's dreams came true. The tigress pounced on its prey, fiercely lapping at her cunt and even suckling her clit in harder motions than Pearl had done for her. "AHH-AHHHH!" Pearl cried out, the shocking waves of pleasure hitting her one by one. "FUCK ME, JASPER! FUCK ME!" Her hand tightened in Jasper's hair as the pressure mounted in her core.

Jasper teased her, entranced her, and made her puddy in her big hands...this predator knew how to hunt...as evident by those glowering, deep eyes that looked right into Pearl's as Jasper sucked her off. Like a gullible prey, Pearl was caught in them and mesmerized, kept there by the endless cycles of ecstasy under the hard lashings of Jasper's tongue.

Then Jasper abandoned Pearl's cunt yet again, licking her chops like a filled predator. "Jasper!" Pearl whimpered, bucking her hips. Before Pearl could react anymore, Jasper shoved her massive, meaty fingers straight into Pearl's cunt, filling Pearl up completely. As Jasper thrusted, her thumb pressed into Pearl's clit, and she pumped Pearl for all she was worth.

"Is this what you want? Give me what you want," Jasper purred huskily as she curled her fingers upward.

Screams and squeals of pleasure left Pearl's lips, letting Jasper know that she clearly was not expecting the sudden contact.

"Jasper...Jasper!" Pearl moaned the name over and over again as it happened. The orgasm overtook her senses, flooding her mind just as thoroughly as her essence spilled onto Jasper's fingers. Her couch was so ruined...

Pearl felt like she was floating up high into the cosmos, but that Jasper somehow anchored her down to the earth so she wouldn't float away. She felt...balanced. "Ah...mhnnnn..." Her body was still trembling, riding the last waves of her massive orgasm all the way to the finish.

Pearl was still seeing stars as the last of her orgasm left her. "Mhnnn..." Like a satisfied feline, she rested quietly on the couch, feeling Jasper move behind her to play the big spoon. Of course, Jasper was arrogant about what a hot, steaming mess she had made out of her, but Pearl didn't fret.

Jasper licked her fingers clean and chuckled at the hot mess. "You're adorable, Pearl."

"Adorable, am I?" she murmured with a pleased smile. "You've made me absolutely filthy and wild, you know."

Camp Pining Hearts would have to wait. To be honest, Peridot was slightly relieved she would get to go with Lapis though; to keep the operation in check from going too far. She really hated being out in the open though, but being with Lapis Lazuli was better than being home alone and vulnerable.

Lapis leaned her arm out the window, staring at the surroundings with a sad look. She blew out a puff of smoke from her cigarette. "Thanks, Peridot," she said out of nowhere.

"About what?" Peridot asked as she drove.

"Just…doing this for me. It's been a long time since I've worked with someone else. I know I'm not the greatest person to be around, so…thanks for dealing with me."

Peridot remained watching the road. "No problem," she said with a shrug.

"So…this is not directed to you, but…how does Jasper stand rooming with you anyways? You two are so different."

"How does Jasper stand to room with me? How do I stand to room with Jasper?!" Peridot exclaimed. "Yes, she can be fun, but also incredibly annoying. She's extremely touchy feely in general, which isn't a problem for you, but it's a huge problem for me when I'm on my computer and she suddenly put hers hands on my shoulders asking me what I'm doing.

"And that's another thing! She's nosy, and oh my God does she never stop asking questions! Even when she isn't asking a question, she still has this audacity to form her words into one! It's an exceptional talent of hers."

"What a pity. To think, you could have just jumped into bed with Jasper and then she would have been willing to give you a few hours peace."

"EW! LAPIS, NO! THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

Peridot paused for a moment. "I am going to miss her though, weirdly enough. When Yellow Diamond moves her somewhere else."

Lapis blew out some smoke as she looked out the window. "...Fuck. Peridot, I'm gonna miss her too...I...I don't think I can fucking live without her!" She shut her eyes tightly. "...Maybe when I can't see Jasper anymore...that's it. Maybe I go too. Turn right and then stop. We're almost here."

"Hold up! What the hell?!" Peridot pulled over and slammed on her breaks. They were still a block from the house, but Peridot didn't care at the moment. This could wait.

Lapis nearly choked on her seatbelt with the air knocked out of her. "Peri…?

Peridot held up her hands in a defensive gesture. "Before we move on, I'm just going to spit this out." She took a deep breath. "Even though I'm not physically there a majority of the time, I know a lot about the ins and outs of this gang, and no offense but that also means I'm completely aware of your...depressive condition. Sorry for the intrusion. But that doesn't mean you can fucking kill yourself, or do drugs or...whatever the fuck it is! Got it, Lapis?! You don't need people to be happy; you can't depend on people like this!"

Peridot folded her arms. "How about this? Once we finish with this whole catching Jasper thing, you can crash at my place, and we can play videogames and watch movies or something. How does that sound?"

A small tear slid down Lapis's cheek. "Okay..." Lapis said quietly. "Okay...if you want."

Peridot frowned. "Ah…geez..." She hesitantly reached over to slide an arm around her.

"Come on now, it's okay. It'll be fine, I promise! It'll hurt at first but I can assure you you can survive through it without the suicide or drugs or whatever else you were thinking." Don't become like Jasper, she added quietly to herself.

"Peridot?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you lost someone before?"

Peridot looked away. "I have. A whole family. It's why I joined this gang in the first place…it was the only place I belonged, I guess."

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine what that must be like."

"It's fine, really."

"I never really had somebody. I'm starting to get numb to it. This entire gang; my work...it all makes me feel so goddamn numb..."

Lapis turned over and put Peridot's hands into hers. She gave them light, needy squeezes, but nothing that would hurt Peridot in return. She held onto them for a few seconds and then let go. "Come on. We have a captive to reclaim."

Peridot squeezed them back, until Lapis pulled them away. "Yeah," she said quietly. She put the car in drive. "Let's go."

The drive was short and the two parked quickly. They stepped out of the car to see one light coming from Pearl's apartment up above. "She's up there."

Lapis approached the door. The door was not card-activated; it needed a key. She undid her hair and straightened out her hairclip.

"Peridot. Stay behind me. Jasper will probably attack me for Fusion, but as soon as she's upon me, she gets her sedative." She took out a gun. "White Diamond's daughter gets this one." She placed the gun in Peridot's hand.

"Does this have destabilizer in this too?"

"…It's a gun. It has bullets in it."

"I never used a gun before. I-I-I never even killed someone before!"

"Well today's your first day. Just don't aim it at me or Jasper and you should be fine," she said boredly. She held the cigarette in her mouth so she could pick the lock.

Lapis opened the door.

It had been a few hours since Pearl and Jasper's corpulence. The two decided to freshen up. Pearl did some laundry for Jasper's only pair of clothes she had here, and they both took separate showers. Jasper had just changed back into her fresh clothes (although Pearl must admit, she was disappointed to not see Jasper draped in only a towel anymore), and Pearl was drying off her hair.

Pearl joined Jasper on the couch. "So-"

"Did you hear something?" Jasper suddenly interrupted.

Pearl strained her ears. "No. Is something wrong?"

The knob on Pearl's door turned. Pearl and Jasper turned their heads in unison to it.

The door creaked open, and Jasper shot up to her feet, pulling Pearl up in the process. "Go to your room! Now!" she hissed in urgency.

"But what about you-?"

Before anything could happen, Lapis and Peridot had piled in the door.

Lapis glared at Jasper, who was forcefully shielding Pearl behind her large frame. "You're PROTECTING her?!" Lapis said. "Do you even know what she's capable of, you fucked up brute?!"

Pearl immediately closed her mouth and shoved Jasper aside, running into her room and slamming the door shut. She needed a weapon, and she needed one fast.

Jasper was about to shove Pearl into the room and make her lock the door, but luckily, Pearl seemed to have done the job for her.

She shot a glare at Lapis. "We broke up, remember?! Don't remember the day when you kicked me to the curb and never answered my texts again? Calm your tits, Lapis!"

Peridot, who was standing behind Lapis the whole time, took hold of Lapis's free hand for a mere moment. Jasper noticed and looked over to make eye contact with her.

"What are you doing here?" Jasper growled to Peridot.

Peridot trembled from behind Lapis. "I..." Peridot shook her head. "Get this over with, Lapis," she said instead.

"Jasper..." Lapis said, voice disturbingly getting soft. "I guess you're just confused. Scared and alone. Desperate. Whatever. You don't understand what that girl has done...and yet you actually are teaming up with a girl who had a big hand in your mother's death. It's a sick fucking joke!"

Peridot whimpered behind her. Lapis ignored her. "Like I said," Lapis muttered shakily. "You're very confused, Jasper." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a very familiar pill. "I want you back."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Be warned, there is serious violence and alcohol abuse in this chapter. Thank you and please enjoy.

It had only been a few months since Pearl was released from prison, and she finally decided to visit her mother.

Unfortunately, Rose could not accompany her. She had to visit family, which was what made Pearl decide it was time she visit family too…or whatever became of it.

 _Jeez. When did she stop taking care of this place?_ The wreckage of White Diamond's base made Pearl want to cringe. The roof was covered in moss and fallen leaves, the driveway was cracked, and mold grew on the walls. Suppressing her disgust and dread of what the inside must look like, she held her breath and knocked on the door of the discrete house.

The door opened and a teenage girl peered suspiciously at Pearl from inside. "Who are you?" the girl asked.

Pearl formed the White Gang symbol to show the girl that she was one of them. "My gang name is Pearl. I would like to visit White Diamond."

The girl narrowed her eyes. "Not just anyone can visit the boss, you know."

"Oh believe me, White Diamond would be thrilled to see me," Pearl said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her own comment.

"Well she's not here."

"But this is her base!"

" _Was_ her base," the girl corrected. "She's in hiding now, probably so people like you can't find her."

"Hiding? Where?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

Something shifted from behind the girl. "Pearl? Holy fuck, is that Pearl?!" a voice called from inside.

"Move it, lackey!" said another girl, pushing the first girl away. She looked at Pearl with a wide, amused smile. "It is Pearl! Holy fuck, we thought you'd be in prison forever!"

Pearl bit the inside of her cheek.

"Come in, Pearl! Catch up with us."

Pearl had no idea who this woman was. Apparently, people remembered her more than Pearl remembered them. But she quietly followed the woman in anyway, trying not to cough from the wall of tobacco smoke and other substances that hit her once she stepped through the door. A group of other gangbangers had their eyes turned to Pearl. She could hear a few of the older ones muttering in disbelief and surprise beneath the loud music that was booming inside.

 _What happened to this place?_ Pearl looked around. She could recognize the interior, such as the size of the living room, the windows, where the doorways were, and the ivory color of the walls, but other than that, this was not the home Pearl remembered. All the furniture was gone. The ivory statues and the sword displays no longer decorated the rooms. The disturbing paintings of Pearl, as a child, posed with swords or wearing elegant dresses, were gone too. Pearl was glad those were gone…maybe having everything gone wasn't bad after all. She hated just remembering her old place.

 _But I came here to see my mother. Where is White Diamond?_

"Hey, no offense, but your clothes are ugly as shit. How about you change into something better?" someone cut Pearl out of her thoughts.

"Erm…" That was a weird offer. Pearl realized she was wearing the plain, oversized clothes the prison had given her. She had outgrown the clothes she arrived with and hadn't had time to purchase any clothes of her own as of late. But she shook her head. "It's alright. I'm fine with what I have on."

"Awww, c'mon. We know you don't wanna wear them. C'mon, we have stuff that can fit you."

"I have already said that I-" Pearl's words stopped when she got tossed something. She unraveled the fabrics and realized it was a lacy bra and very thin, see-through panties. The girls snickered. "What is this?!" she cried.

"We know you want to wear it," a girl purred.

"Excuse me?!"

"Oh, Pearl," the woman said, flicking Pearl's nose cutely. "Everyone knows all about your little…history. All about how you became a little slutty prison bitch, isn't that right, princess?"

"How would you hear about that?!"

The woman shrugged. "Word spreads around."

"I have absolutely not done that! I am in a loving, monogamous relationship with Rose Quartz!"

The girls laughed.

"Oh, Pearl. Still using that excuse, huh? We all know how you love to just whore yourself out. How about you do a little strip tease for- HUH?!"

Pearl had whipped a gun off a nearby counter and aimed it right at the group of girls. "What was it you were saying?" Pearl said.

"Woah, what are you doing?! You can't just-"

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Don't try to discipline me.

"Now listen to me," Pearl continued in a cold, deadly tone. "I just got out of prison, and I am tired. I do not want to go back, and I certainly don't want to hear about anything you have said, so…why not be courteous and shut up? Don't make me go back there, because I will if I have to." She flashed her fiery eyes to the others. "Do you understand?"

The girls froze.

"But…" one pointed out. "But you're one of us-"

 _BAM!_

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

The room was filled with a deadly silence. Smoke wafted out from the gun in Pearl's hand. Pearl had aimed the gun only a couple inches away from one of the women's heads and had blown a hole directly into the stereo. "Finally, that trashy music is off," Pearl said. "Now…do you understand?!"

The girls nodded quietly.

"Good," Pearl said. "Now where is White Diamond? I need to discuss some things with her."

"I want you back."

"You…want me back?" Jasper repeated.

Jasper's anger subsided surprisingly fast, once she spotted a very familiar pill in Lapis's hand. A very, very familiar pill. Her eyes widened; her heart raced faster. It was the very thing that made her lose all control, the very thing that kept her coming back to Lapis again and again.

It was also the thing that caused her to have that suicidal, violent episode at Lapis's home.

Lapis kept her in that chamber to scare the addiction out of her...but even then...even after the withdrawals were gone, Jasper still really weirdly wanted it. She hungered for it. Even when trying to remain cold turkey and repressing every thought about it, she knew deep down she missed that lovely, beautiful little drug, and she missed it every damn day. She especially missed it now, with it being taunted in front of her eyes.

"Lapis..." She was shaking. She wanted to run away, but she couldn't. "Didn't you say...you didn't want me to do Fusion anymore?"

Her eyes were glued to the pill, her gaze now melding and becoming one with the swirly colors. The way that beautiful liquid shimmered within its capsule in the light, begging to make its home inside of her, to sweep all of Jasper's worries and helpless feelings away. To take her somewhere she's never been to before; a heaven thousands of times better than the afterlife one itself. Even if she gets a bad high again, it would still be worth it, from just how much power she feels...

"You want us to be together?"

Behind her door, Pearl had leapt into Jasper's small pile of belongings, digging underneath a phone and a jacket until she found what she was looking for. Pearl hadn't owned a weapon since she abandoned White's gang, but on the bright side, she was lucky, and she found what she needed:

The gun Jasper stole from Lapis the other night.

Pearl pulled the gun from Jasper's belongings and stood alert by the door, taking in the conversation as it happened. It was actually eerily quiet, just Lapis and Jasper swapping their voices back and forth. Pearl pressed her ear against the door in an attempt to hear just a bit better.

"You don't understand what that girl has done," Lapis said.

A cloud of dread sank on top of Pearl. Could she be mentioning…? Oh no, please not that! But how would Lapis know of that information?! But thankfully, the conversation ceased, and she heard another word.

 _Fusion._ Pearl's eyes widened.

"Jasper...JASPER!" The door was kicked open with such ferocity by Pearl that it was nearly knocked off its hinges. With the gun gripped tightly in her hands, she aimed it at Lapis.

"Wh- Pearl?!" Jasper ripped her eyes away from the drug and doubled out of the way as Pearl suddenly burst out of the room. "Holy shit, Pearl, I told you to hide!"

"Well...it's White Diamond's girl. I thought you were making a break for it," Lapis said, her eyes narrowed at Pearl. "You have quite the intense criminal record. I was almost going to be surprised if you ran off."

"Shut up!" Pearl glanced at Jasper, gun still aimed at Lapis. "Get away from that drug, Jasper. Get into my room now!"

Lapis growled, seizing the tranquilizer gun. She took aim and fired point-blank at Jasper's torso. "It's too late." The dart shot right into Jasper's abdomen. Jasper spat out profanity in alarm.

"JASPER!" Pearl cried.

Pearl expected Jasper to go down. But to her surprise, it didn't even take a second for to Jasper rip out the dart from her abdomen. Flecks of blood splattered out as Jasper tore the dart from her own flesh.

Jasper rushed forward and, with every force she had, stabbed the rest right into Lapis's shoulder. She hit Lapis so hard while driving it into her that Lapis smashed against the ground and onto her back, with the pill now disappearing under one of the furnitures. Jasper swayed back, holding her torso and heaving at Lapis in absolute, seething, soul-piercing rage as a small trickles of blood dribbled from between her fingers.

Lapis struggled to push herself up. Jasper kicked her right back down and pinned her down.

"YOU FUCKING MANIPULATIVE BITCH!" Jasper barked, punching Lapis so hard in the face that a cracking sound was heard. Blood splattered against Jasper's knuckles and a river of crimson streamed out of Lapis's disfigured nose.

Lapis, still pinned under her weight, tried to scramble away. Jasper grabbed her by the hair and smashed her face against the tile floor and scraped her back into place, leaving a trail of blood against the tile, and Jasper started pounding her fist into her again, over and over. She flipped Lapis over and rammed her shoulder against the floor, driving the dart between it and the floor deeper into her flesh, and even causing the dart to break while in her. The scream Lapis made even chilled Pearl's blood.

"Jasper!" Pearl cried, too frozen to know what to do. "You can stop now, you've already-!"

Lapis laid there, barely moving. Blood spilled from her lips. "Peridot...run," she rasped.

Even though Jasper took more of the stabilizer, her body was much bigger than Lapis's, and could handle the dose much better than Lapis ever could. Even so, she beat Lapis as hard as she possibly could, with each punch filled to the brim with intention for knocking every living daylight out from Lapis. Lapis would go unconscious before Jasper could, and Jasper made sure of it. Even though she was already down, Jasper kept going anyway, just to make sure she stays that way.

Peridot was a shivering, paralyzed mess as she stared at her only liable partner, getting pounded into the ground by the very person Peridot lived with for the past year and a half. Tears streamed down her face. _What do I do, what do I do?_

…Lapis…Jasper? These two women loved each other, didn't they? Why was this happening?! Peridot always knew their relationship was questionable, but never once did she fathom something like this would happen.

Lapis and Yellow Diamond would be pissed at her for this, but Peridot didn't care. Jasper will kill Lapis. Jasper will probably kill Peridot next. Jasper wasn't safe. Repressing all fond memories Peridot ever had with Jasper, Peridot tried her best to aim. Jasper needed to be stopped. Praying that her aim was correct, Peridot urgently pulled the trigger.

A deafening sound boomed in Peridot's ears as she tumbled backwards, and the sound was followed by screams and swears. Too scared to witness the harm Peridot had just caused, she closed her eyes tightly at first, and then she reopened them. Jasper was holding her arm as blood spilled out onto the floor and on top of Lapis's unconscious form.

"Jasper!" Pearl said. She ran up to the gangbanger.

She noticed Jasper's breath was slowing down and her movements becoming lazier and lazier. The drug Jasper got darted with must be kicking in, and she was also losing blood.

"Jasper! Jasper!" Pearl gasped. She forced Jasper's chin up so the drugged gangbanger had to look into her eyes. "Shhh...it's okay...You have to calm down...shhhh..." She took Jasper's hand in hers. "Jasper...please…calm down...I'll take care of them. I'll protect you." She fired a glare to Peridot as she set Jasper gently on the floor.

Peridot's breath shook as she backed up against the door. She shakily rose her gun to point towards Pearl, but Pearl arrived faster and pressed her own gun right to Peridot's head.

"Shoot me, and I shoot you back," Pearl said in a deadly whisper. "Give me that gun."

Tears streamed down Peridot's face. She handed Pearl the gun.

"Here's what I want you to do," Pearl said coldly, her face devoid of all emotion. "You grab your friend and get out of here, and never come back, and I'll forgive you for what you did. Or…" Her finger teased the trigger a little. "You die right now.

"I don't want to kill you, Peridot, but I will for our own sake. If I notice anyone coming back over here…I can assure you I'll find you, _and I'll kill you_. You wouldn't want me to do that, would you? You must know about me. I am White Diamond's daughter. I killed many people and I assisted in killing Pink Diamond. I know how to make your death hell and I will be sure of it. Do you understand?"

Peridot nodded, sniffling up some snot running out her nose.

"Good. Then leave."

Peridot scrambled up. Maybe it was all the adrenaline pulsing inside her, but the scrawny girl managed to carry Lapis away and ran off as far as her tiny legs could take her. The door slammed shut.

Pearl was thankful. Peridot seemed to get the message. Good. For the time being, Lapis and Jasper were both safe from each other.

Pearl rushed back to Jasper to observe the bullet wound. As she knelt down, she noticed a trail of scratched tile having been scraped across the floor. The bit of metal sat nearby the wall. The bullet had only grazed Jasper.

Pearl ran to the laundry room and grabbed one of her soft wash rags. She cleaned Jasper's wound and then also pressed the cloth against Jasper's abdomen to clean that wound as well. When she was assured it was all cleaned out, Pearl wrapped up the wounds to stop the bleeding, and until she was sure Jasper would be okay, did she step back.

Pearl stepped away and glanced back at Jasper. She saw the smears of blood on the floor, in the place Jasper had attacked Lapis. As soon as she saw it, Pearl's cold facade broke and she fell back to her knees to cry. It was a sudden, unexpected cry. Her fists beat into the ground as her entire body shook. It was thanks to her old days of being a criminal that assisted her in keeping it together over stuff like this. But for some reason...she cried. By God, did she cry.

Jasper savagely beat Lapis down. _Those bruises…oh God! Jasper did that! OH GOD!_ Of course, Pearl had also witnessed what Lapis attempted to do. It was thoughtless and cruel. Not to mention... _Lapis knows what I've done...she almost told Jasper...what do I do?!_

Would Jasper do the same to Pearl as she did to Lapis? Or would it be worse? Perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing…but…

 _Jasper would never love me. Not when she finds out what I did._

 _Oh, Rose…What am I doing?! I just wanted to fill the void you left again! What is wrong with me?!_ Although crying harder didn't seem possible, she cried even harder.

Why did she have to be so sensitive? She's seen this before. Blood…people being beaten to death…tortured to death…killed in their sleep and killed while awake. She's done it before and seen it all before…and yet she couldn't handle this. Cut to the present, and Pearl had already doubled over at those memories and vomited stomach acid straight on the floor.

She was always told to never run away. Always told to face her problems and beat them into the ground. But Pearl gave into her instincts to run. She had given into her instincts for a while now and she had no plans of stopping. She wanted to run away, and run away she did.

 _Are you a coward?!_ a thought in her head boomed: the part of her that made sense. The part of her before she decided to leave her mother's gang. The part of her before she started abandoning everything. But Pearl didn't care.

Pearl rushed down the apartment steps.

She instinctively felt around for her phone but remembered she didn't have it. She hadn't had it since… _OH GOD!_

She had to call somebody.

Then she saw it. A pay phone. It was in her complex, and only now would she actually use it. She shoved some quarters in and dialed the very first number she remembered by heart.

"Hello?"

"Garnet! It's me!"

"Pearl. We haven't spoken in months. This isn't your number."

"I'm using a pay phone."

"But it's very late in your city. Is something wrong?"

"The Yellow Gang has my phone."

Pearl couldn't see or hear anything from her friend's end, but she could practically feel the shock and disappointment the woman must be feeling. _She must know I'm failing again, like I always do! Drinking again! Not eating enough again! Having sex with strangers again!_ "What happened?" Garnet said in a concerned tone.

"Garnet…no…it's okay…I'll be okay…" Pearl stammered. "There's nothing to worry a-a-about-" She burst into tears again. She sobbed into the phone, trying her best to form sentences through the violent sobs and gasps. "I'm just…I'm okay! This… _sob_ …this was foolish of me! I'M SUCH A FOOL! Goodbye!" Before Garnet could say anything back, Pearl hung up immediately.

She needed something! Anything! Anything to deal with this mess! Pearl rushed back to her apartment. She flung open the cabinet door and pulled out the strongest booze she had. It sat in her cabinets for a long time, since Pearl preferred lighter drinks, but today was going to be one of those days. Pearl didn't care.

She didn't care if it would make her pass out and make her vulnerable to Jasper. She didn't care if she would get alcohol poisoning and it killed her. All she wanted to do was be numb and wash away into oblivion, and if death was part of the equation, then so be it.

Pearl urgently uncapped the bottle and didn't even bother to pour it in a glass. She took a few big gulps straight out of it. She let it numb her mouth and let it burn and sink down her throat. She did it again, and again, and again. She just wanted to feel completely numb already. The impatience was too much, and she ended up finishing a good part of it off despite the urge to throw up. She didn't know how much of it she drank.

 _Jasper and I will never last,_ Pearl thought.

 _I need to get away._

 _I need to feel normal again._

"Pearl? What are you doing here?"

Pearl stumbled forward. She had to think for a moment. Where was she again? She came somewhere for something…

"Is that Pearl?" another shape said. "What's she doing here so late?"

"I am not sure. She just walked in here…" a soft, shy voice said nervously. "Pearl?"

It finally hit Pearl. That girl…her coworker…that girl worked the night shift.

But anyways…the diner. She was at the diner.

"I need…I need to work," she said.

"But your shift doesn't start until tomorrow morning."

"I need to…just please."

"Excuse me-" A shape pushed past her coworker. "You need to go home."

Pearl shook her head. "Please…I need this right now. I just want to feel normal again! I just want…" She suddenly puked.

"Pearl…? Are you okay-?"

Pearl yanked away before the girl could touch her. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Pearl cried. "Y' don't wanna hurt me! I'll kill you if you do! I'M NOT SAFE! I'LL KILL EVERYONE!"

"Pearl, you're scaring me!" her coworker said.

"You're scaring the customers, ma'am!" the other person said.

"Y-y-you know what's scared? ME! They're all looking for me! They want me dead! I CAN'T TRUST THEM! D'y'know what that feels like? DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?!"

"Someone escort her out!"

"Pearl, where are you going-?!"

 _They don't want me here,_ Pearl thought.

There's only one place left for her to go.

One place where she can belong…

Pearl woke up on the pavement. She must have fallen.

After a few failed tries, she managed to stand herself back up again, holding onto the wall for support. She shakily continued to trudge herself forward.

She looked around. The diner was nowhere in sight. Everything was dark except for a few spread out streetlights.

 _There's only one place left I belong._

She was heading somewhere. She had to go somewhere.

Pearl pulled herself forward, leaning and dragging against the wall for support.

There was only one place she belonged now. She had to go there…

"Woah, is that Pearl?!"

"No way!"

"Pfft look how trashed she is, holy shit!"

"How in the hell can that be Pearl?"

"Come here, pretty girl…"

"That's it, get closer…"

A dark shape loomed ahead. Wait no, several dark shapes. White Diamond symbols decorated their clothing. The White Gang: they were here.

 _I'm home,_ Pearl thought.

"HEY, FUCK OFF!"

Laughter echoed. "Is that a Yellow gang member? Telling us what to do in our turf?!"

Jasper winded her fist back and punched hard at somebody.

"Let's get out of here!"

Pearl felt herself getting scooped up.

She looked up to see Jasper towering over her. Street lights moved past them as Jasper carried Pearl.

"Pearl! Why are you over here?! In White Territory of all places? Why the fuck would you walk all the way over h-!"

"-lucky they were only scrawny little-!"

"Pearl? What did you do to yourself?"

…

…

…

…

"People know where your house is now. We need to go somewhere else-"

"You're dehydrated. You need to drink some water-"

"Get…away from me…"

"I can't just leave you alone right now!"

"Go away!"

Pearl felt sick. She wanted to sleep…to pass out. Maybe this was her end. She just needed to sleep…forever, even. Part of her hoped it'd be forever.

As she drifted away, she thought about Rose…about her family…about all her friends.

" _Rose?" Pearl asked as she sat beside Rose in the grass of the prison courtyard._

" _Yes?" Rose asked._

 _Pearl swallowed. "Am I a monster?"_

" _Oh, babe, no…of course you aren't…" Rose said._

" _But I killed all those people."_

" _You were forced to do those things. You didn't mean them. You aren't your past," Rose said._

" _Thanks, Rose…"_

 _Rose looked down at the grass and picked at some of the leaves. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm a monster though…"_

" _Of course you aren't, Rose!" Pearl said. "One day we'll get out of prison, and we'll never feel this way again, I promise. Let's just finish our sentence, and we'll never have to feel this way again."_

 _Rose smiled weakly. "Thanks, Pearl."_

" _Once we're out of here, we'll never feel this way again," Pearl repeated with a smile._

" _What the hell is wrong with you, Pearl?!" the closest thing she had left of a family, Amethyst, had cried._

" _You didn't even show up to Rose's funeral! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Amethyst had said. Pearl looked away and muttered up some excuse, and then some retort._

" _What do you mean get out of your life? FINE! WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN OFF LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?! AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY LOSE SOMEONE!" Amethyst yelled again. Through tearful anger, Pearl cried something back._

" _You know what? You're the real monster, Pearl! GO FUCK YOURSELF!"_

"I'm a monster…I'm a monster…"

Pearl woke up slowly. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust against the bright sunlight shining through the window. She didn't know how she wound up there, but she was in backseat of Jasper's car. Her head was killing her…as was every other part of her body.

She looked over to see Jasper sitting with her head resting on the steering wheel. Quiet, tortured moans and whimpers emitted from the gangbanger's mouth. Messy hair draped over her face and her fingers clawed at and dug into her scalp. She was shaking. "Lapis…I'm a monster…"

Pearl remained under the blanket that was draped over her. She turned over until her back was facing Jasper, and then tugged the blanket over her head, hoping it would somehow muffle out Jasper's words. So…it seemed Pearl wasn't the only one who felt that way…being a monster….

Pearl wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad thing.


End file.
